collapse
GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR GPS MAP Guided Moose And Black Bear Hunts

Author Topic: Hunting Washington Jokes  (Read 4983 times)

Offline Coasthunterjay

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sourdough
  • *****
  • Join Date: Aug 2007
  • Posts: 1749
  • Location: Eastern WA
  • Groups: MDF, BCHA, NRA, WPHA
Hunting Washington Jokes
« on: September 04, 2007, 10:02:37 PM »
Figured theres alot of jokes here. someone should start a joke thread.......


heres the first one........


Three men go deer hunting, two are smart, and one is dumb. The first smart one goes out and 2 hours later comes back with a deer. The other two ask how he did it, and he said, "I found the tracks, I followed the tracks, I found the deer, I killed the deer."

So the other smart one goes out, and 1 hour later he comes back with a deer. They ask how he did it. He said " I found the tracks, I followed the tracks, I found the deer, I killed the deer."

So the dumb hunter goes out, and 2 hours later, he comes back beaten and bruised. The other 2 asked what happened. He said "I found the tracks, I followed the tracks, I got hit by a train."

Offline tlbradford

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Frontiersman
  • *****
  • Join Date: Aug 2007
  • Posts: 3248
  • Location: Veradale
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2007, 08:31:37 AM »
Two Polish hunters go out and after walking about a mile from the truck shoot a nice buck.  They grab it by the hind legs and start dragging it back to the truck.  After going about a half mile they come across another hunter who tells them it is a lot easier to drag the deer by the horns.  They grab the horns and keep on going.  After another hour has passed one of the guys says, "It sure is easier dragging this deer by the horns."  "Yeah," says the other hunter, "but we sure are getting a long way from the truck."
Dreams are forever on the mind, realization in the hands.

Offline VirginiaxBoi

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Tracker
  • **
  • Join Date: Sep 2007
  • Posts: 72
  • Location: Fort Lewis
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2007, 12:16:54 PM »
Two old bird hunters (HuntWa and BoneAddict) had been bird hunting together for decades, and every year each would claim to one another they would have the best darn bird dog in the state. And every year like clock work each one of their dog's would not amount to a pile of moose crap. Until one year....

HuntWa came up to Bone and declared. "Bone, I tell ya, I have the best darn bird dog, by GOD, you jus' wait -n- see."

So opening day of bird season came and the two loaded up in their trucks and headed out with HuntWa's new "awesome" bird dog. They get out into the field and it is not even ten minutes HuntWa's new bird dog comes up on a hedge row and immediately locks up, stiffens and points. Then the bird dog stomps his back leg one time. Bone looked at HuntWa... "Hey Hunt, what pray tell does that right there mean?" HuntWa replied. "He is telling me there is one bird in that hedgerow right there". And so Bone went into the hedgerow and sure enough flushed one bobwhite quail.

About an hour the trio had worked their way further down the hedge when Hunt's dog stopped dead in his tracks stiffened and pointed again. This time he lifted his back leg and stomped three times. Bone asked again.. (Because Bone is a little slow to catch on ya know). "Hey Hunt, so what does that mean?". HuntWa replied. "He is telling me there is three birds in the hedge. Hunt moved into the hedge and sure enough flushed three more bobwhite quail out of the hedge.

Towards the end of the day the trio came upon a large group of bushes. When suddenly HuntWas' bird dog froze solid in his tracks, pointed, and then wheeled and proceeded to savagely hump HuntWa's leg. Bone looked at HuntWa... "What in the he..." HuntWa interrupted. "He is telling me there is so many f@#$kin' birds in that bush there is too many for him to count".






(No offense intended, jokes are funnier in first person)

Offline VirginiaxBoi

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Tracker
  • **
  • Join Date: Sep 2007
  • Posts: 72
  • Location: Fort Lewis
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2007, 08:06:10 PM »
I ran a search for hunting jokes... So I thought I would post a couple, here they are:


                                         
Two men were out in the woods hunting.
Suddenly, one of them clasped his chest, suffering from a heart attack.

Instantly, his friend whipped out his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. When the operator came on, she heard a frantic voice say that his friend had just had a heart attack and died. Calmly, she replied that he should make sure that his friend was really dead. He said ok and asked her to hold. A few moments later, the operator heard a gunshot, followed by the man coming back on, confirming the death and asked what he had to do next.

Offline VirginiaxBoi

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Tracker
  • **
  • Join Date: Sep 2007
  • Posts: 72
  • Location: Fort Lewis
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2007, 08:08:49 PM »
Three guys are coming back from a hunting trip, when thier truck breaks down. The 1st guy says I think I saw a farm house back down the road about a mile. So they start walking and by the time they get thier it's getting dark. They ask the lady that lives in the house if they can use her phone, she says "I ain't got a phone but yer welcome to stay here for the night, as long as you don't make fun of my son because he don't have any ears"

So they are all siting around the T.V. with thier own section of the newspaper. The first guy looks up at the boy and says "take care of your teeth because when you get old like me you won't have any"


The second guy looks up over the section of news paper he has and says "boy...you better take good care of your hair because when you get old like me you won't have any"


So then the third guy looks up at the boy and says "boy you better take good care of your eyes because when you get old you won't be able to wear glasses because you ain't got no ears".

Offline VirginiaxBoi

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Tracker
  • **
  • Join Date: Sep 2007
  • Posts: 72
  • Location: Fort Lewis
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2007, 08:11:54 PM »
Joe owned one of the finest bird dogs ever seen. It had won many trophies over the years. One day, Joe got a call from a friend named Bob, who asked if he could borrow the dog to go pheasant hunting on saturday. Well, Joe told him that he never loaned his dog to hunt, and asked Bob if he had ever hunted with a dog. Bob said "Oh sure, grew up hunting with a dog". "Well then, you're a pretty good friend, I guess you can use him", Joe agreed. Saturday, Bob showed up, and Joe brought out his champion dog and loaded him in the truck."Good luck", Joe said,"hope you brought plenty of shells, see you later". That evening, Bob came back to Joe's, and Joe came out to meet them. "Well, how many did you get?", Joe asked. "We didn't get any" Bob shouted. "That's unbelievable" Joe exclaimed. Bob said,"Yea, it was the funniest thing, we got there, I loaded my gun, I let out your dog and we started hunting. All of a sudden, your dog stopped. He had his head pointing straight forward, his ears were straight forward, his back was straight as an arrow, his tail was pointing straight back, his one paw was lifted up off the ground, and he just stood there. Couple quick kicks in the ass broke him of that crap".

Offline VirginiaxBoi

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Tracker
  • **
  • Join Date: Sep 2007
  • Posts: 72
  • Location: Fort Lewis
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2007, 08:13:59 PM »
A car drives up to a farmer's house, a man gets out, knocks on the door, and the farmer opens it. "A friend told me you have a mule that points quail", said the stranger, "is that true"?? "Sure is", said the farmer, "would you like to see him work?" The strangers said, "Sure". Soon they were walking through a field, when the mule suddenly stopped and struck a beautiful point. The farmer walks ahead of the mule and scares up a big covey of quail. This goes on a half dozen more times...the mule points...the farmer scares up the covey. Finally, the stranger says, "That's enough, I've got to have that mule". "He ain't for sale", said the farmer. I'll give you $50,000.00 for him", said the stranger. Well, the farmer couldn't refuse such a big offer, so he sold him. The next night, the farmer's phone rang...it was the stranger. "What the hell's wrong with this darn mule you sold me?", he screamed..."all he's done all day is stand belly deep in my pond"!! "Well", said the farmer, "I guess I should'a told you......he'd rather fish than hunt."

Offline boneaddict

  • Site Sponsor
  • Administrator
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Legend
  • *****
  • Join Date: Mar 2007
  • Posts: 41255
  • Location: Selah, Washington
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2007, 10:05:47 AM »
Thank God the dog humped his leg and not mine.   Thanks for the jokes.
My website.....DDK Photography
http://ddkphotography.pixels.com

sisu

  • Guest
  • Trade Count: (0)
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2007, 01:36:38 PM »
Oh there a lot more I've just been saving them :chuckle:.

Offline GoldTip

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Frontiersman
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jul 2007
  • Posts: 4588
  • Location: Spokane, WA
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2007, 02:48:43 PM »
Theres some pretty good jokes here.... :chuckle:
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
If I ageed with you, then we'd both be wrong.
You are never to old to learn something stupid.

Offline saylean

  • Team Slayer Packmule
  • Business Sponsor
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Old Salt
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jun 2007
  • Posts: 7979
  • Location: Stanwood
    • www.facebook.com/Nobaitjustbears
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2007, 10:24:18 AM »
What type of food stops a womans sex drive?


Wedding Cake...
Author of "No Bait Just Bears" and "The Ultimate Guide To Black Bear Hunting". Follow on Instagram: bozeandbears.

Offline huntingnut

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Longhunter
  • *****
  • Join Date: Aug 2007
  • Posts: 732
  • Location: Yakima
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2007, 12:20:43 PM »
That is the funniest thing I have heard. :chuckle:

Offline Bridger

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hunter
  • ***
  • Join Date: Mar 2007
  • Posts: 152
  • Location: Cheney
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2007, 06:52:32 PM »
Great jokes,keep them coming :tup:
Dally up,Whip and Spur,Don't look Back

Offline robb92

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Frontiersman
  • *****
  • Join Date: Aug 2007
  • Posts: 3681
  • Location: Spokane Wa, Andrews AFB, Maryland and King George, VA
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2007, 08:42:41 PM »
Thanks for the laughs!!!
"ITS NOT WHAT THE WISE MAN SAYS BUT WHAT THE WISE MAN DOES IN HIS LIFE THAT MATTERS"


Offline Skycruiser

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hunter
  • ***
  • Join Date: Sep 2007
  • Posts: 141
Re: Hunting Washington Jokes
« Reply #14 on: September 20, 2007, 09:28:43 PM »
Two hunters in Africa were hoping for a big lion, but after a long morning, they grew tired of carrying their heavy rifles. That afternoon they decided to leave them in the Land Rover while they went scouting. They finally spotted a lion quite a ways off, but the lion spotted them at the same moment and started running toward them.

One hunter quickly sat on the ground, yanked off his boots and started lacing on running shoes. "You're nuts!" the other hunter said. "You can't outrun a lion!.

His partner replied, "I don't have to outrun the lion. I just have to outrun YOU!"

 

* Recent Topics

Jolly mtn fire, Teanaway GMU 335 by pianoman9701
[Today at 07:31:55 AM]


Buck Down by Sitka_Blacktail
[Today at 07:24:54 AM]


BBD. Norway pass by The scout
[Today at 06:53:45 AM]


Sheep Hunting and snakes by The scout
[Today at 06:51:39 AM]


The Rich Outdoors (Blacktail podcast) by The scout
[Today at 06:44:47 AM]


25-06 and blacktail by fish vacuum
[Today at 06:41:32 AM]


2017 Deer, post them here (photos & stats) by borntoslay
[Today at 06:40:21 AM]


Streak is over! by pianoman9701
[Today at 06:26:07 AM]


Wet optics while BT/Roosie hunting! by pianoman9701
[Today at 06:23:20 AM]


Wtb hawken by Dirty Mike
[Today at 06:22:54 AM]


Hotels in Republic, reccomendations. For modern deer. by Eric M
[Today at 06:16:41 AM]


Carson Hookupz Digiscope adapters by HntnFsh
[Today at 06:09:14 AM]


Rtspring and "E" have done it again! Buck down!!! Pics and story added.. by willapawapiti
[Today at 06:06:32 AM]


Upland hunting in the rain by joe_dumy
[Today at 06:02:36 AM]


1200 yards down to 100. 23rd Deer! by bman940
[Today at 05:26:30 AM]


Notched My Multi-Season Tag This Mornin' by Smokepole
[Today at 05:12:47 AM]


Peaches - Planning through the hunt by Stein
[Today at 04:48:41 AM]


First bear ever! Alpine by X-Force
[Today at 04:14:45 AM]


Bobcat down by bowhunterforever
[Today at 03:43:14 AM]


Lost Wallet-Nile by Seahawk12
[Yesterday at 11:31:26 PM]