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Author Topic: Field Judging Sheep Testicles  (Read 20336 times)

Offline eburg127

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Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« on: October 13, 2012, 08:10:49 AM »
I was lucky enough to draw a sheep tag and have been scouring the internet and talking with knowledgeable people on how to score sheep.  One suggestion was to look at their testicles.  Generally speaking, the larger testicles belong to the larger ram.  This would be similar to women field judging a man’s feet in order to find the perfect “mate”.  A technique that has been used ever since man invented the loin cloth.  According to women across the nation, it is a proven technique.  It is not always accurate because man has learned a way to cheat the system and wear shoes that are too big in order to fool the woman who is field judging him.  Sheep on the other hand, don’t wear shoes which makes this a valid judging technique. 

Most of the time you can just pick out the largest ram, but there are times when there are two rams that are very similar in size.  Sometimes their heads are down or away.  Many times you are forced to look at the back side of the animal, kind of a “in your face” stance, because the rams seem to know they have it going on.  This is now okay because of this technique.  Most of the time you don’t even need optics because “the boys” are very easy to see.  The technique can seem a little awkward at first, especially when scouting with friends who are less informed.  I was with a friend scouting and excitedly said “look at the nuts on that guy!”  He looked at me with that kind of awkward, but curious glance that uneducated testicle judges often do.
 
Testicle judging can be fairly simple, but there are a few tricks.  The easiest measurement to judge is the length.  The closer to the ground they are the bigger the sack.  But just like scoring sheep, length is not the most important measurement.  Testicle mass can be determined a few ways.  I first look at the ram that has more “swagger”.   Sheep have great eyesight and they see their fellow ram’s testicles.  If they have the larger testicles they are going to strut like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever (not the recent Travolta).  My theory is they also have more “swagger” because of the testicles impeding their walking ability.   If I had two softballs between my legs it would be hard to walk too, and you can be dang sure I would have some swagger.  In the rare case of a ram having one testicle larger than the other one, it would be deemed “non-typical”.  That will have to be covered in another article since it is a very complex issue.

Don’t forget to keep the testicle sack when you are field dressing your sheep.  They can be used for so many things!  Anything from a coin purse to a backpack depending on the size of your sheep.  I plan on making a sack for my kid to take his marbles to school.  I can already see him beaming with pride during his show and tell, quickly rising to the level of teachers pet.

I know what you are thinking; there is not enough scientific evidence to back this technique.  That is why I am currently proposing a national sheep testicle measurement grant in order to obtain funding from the government.  I was thinking at least a million dollars to get the study under way.  I need to get the grant done right away, I feel I have a better chance since this is an election year and they need my vote.

Lastly, I can’t take credit for this technique.  It was taught to me by this guy I kind of know, but went hunting with a few times.  He is at a guide level, but never guided.  He is not college educated, but talks like he has a master’s degree in everything.  Basically he can do everything, and when he does it, it is better than you.  You probably know this guy.

If you want to voluntarily measure sheep testicles for this study, just reply to this post.  That way everyone on the site will know that you are a truly dedicated sportsman. 

Offline Michelle_Nelson

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2012, 08:28:04 AM »
Someone was NOT given his day pass to go hunting this morning and has WAY to much time on his hands.  :chuckle: 

Offline TheHunt

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2012, 08:40:24 AM »
hahahahahaha   :chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle:

I know for a fact this thread is going to sideways really quick.  Very good thread eberg!!!

Thanks for making my morning.
275 down 2

Offline ellensburgpo

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2012, 11:28:27 AM »
What is wrong with you bro? Knowing you makes me think this a bunch of bs, but you do have the tag so who knows.
« Last Edit: October 13, 2012, 01:52:01 PM by ellensburgpo »
KCCO

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Offline huntergreg

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2012, 01:31:46 PM »
 :chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle:

Offline PolarBear

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2012, 01:59:22 PM »
As Barney Frank, Elton John or Clay Aikin how to judge testicles.

Offline X-Force

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2012, 02:09:44 PM »
 :chuckle: :chuckle:
People get offended at nothing at all. So, speak your mind and be unapologetic.

Offline hornhunter1987

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2012, 09:58:28 PM »
i dont know what would be funnier.... if you are serious or you  :dunno: are joking but either way thats good stuff  :tup:

Offline HUNTINCOUPLE

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #8 on: October 14, 2012, 09:19:15 AM »
 :chuckle:LOL :tup:
Slap some bacon on a biscut and lets go, were burrnin daylight!

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Offline NW-GSP

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #9 on: October 14, 2012, 11:57:28 AM »
I always feel bad for my dog, his boys touch the ground when he sits down. As you can imagine he tends to not sit down all the way in the winter

Offline boneaddict

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2012, 12:35:37 PM »

Offline TheFewTheProud

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #11 on: October 14, 2012, 12:39:39 PM »
hahahahaha
SEMPER FI

Offline deerhunterdes13

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #12 on: October 14, 2012, 01:16:59 PM »
Lol. The one on the right?  :chuckle:
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Offline deerhunter_98520

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #13 on: October 15, 2012, 06:08:37 PM »
why do i have a feeling the head isnt getting mounted...theres going to be testicles hanging from the wall :yike: :chuckle:
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Offline boneaddict

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #14 on: October 15, 2012, 06:19:47 PM »
Whose mounting what?


Offline actionshooter

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #15 on: October 15, 2012, 06:22:00 PM »
 :chuckle:

Offline rasbo

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #16 on: October 15, 2012, 06:27:42 PM »
length and width are easy,its the girth measuring that would take a special person..

Offline furbearer365

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #17 on: October 15, 2012, 06:46:10 PM »
This is turning into Hunt-Wa's version of Fifty Shades of Grey. :chuckle:

Offline whacker1

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #18 on: October 15, 2012, 07:05:14 PM »
head mounted on one side of the wall and back end mounted on the other side of the wall

Offline jechicdr

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #19 on: October 15, 2012, 08:23:40 PM »
Whose mounting what?


Hey...that's not head butting!!!

Offline Humptulips

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #20 on: October 16, 2012, 06:48:42 PM »


Seems like a tough time to be judging. Maybe beginners should only hunt sheep during warm weather.
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Offline Eburg fisher

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #21 on: October 16, 2012, 08:10:25 PM »
You are NUTS!

Offline coachcw

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #22 on: October 16, 2012, 08:25:56 PM »
looks like a case of blue balls !!!!!
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Offline Todd_ID

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #23 on: October 16, 2012, 08:31:22 PM »
Now we know where the name Boneaddict came from!
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Offline mkcj

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #24 on: October 16, 2012, 08:39:50 PM »
As soon I read this I knew Bone (no pun intended) would be a great contributor of photo's :tup:

Offline coachcw

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #25 on: October 16, 2012, 08:44:15 PM »
what about humptulips tooo ! you guys are sick
My wife told me that I hunt way more than I did when we first got married. I said yeah I know isn't it great !

Offline turkeyfeather

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #26 on: October 16, 2012, 08:57:48 PM »
 :chuckle: Funny stuff. I think one would have to mount the sack right below the head. Kinda the same way you mount a turkeys beard under the fan.
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Offline WDFW Hates ME!!!

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #27 on: October 16, 2012, 09:04:58 PM »
All i have to do is draw a tag and i will help judging sack...
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Offline runamuk

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #28 on: October 16, 2012, 09:11:40 PM »
:chuckle: Funny stuff. I think one would have to mount the sack right below the head. Kinda the same way you mount a turkeys beard under the fan.
that would be awesome actually  :chuckle: :chuckle:

Offline Heredoggydoggy

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #29 on: October 16, 2012, 09:18:20 PM »
Those pics were taken in cold weather.  Shrinkage!  The Ram that crossed the Swakane Canyon Road in front of me in warm weather had bigger balls than any of those...  And they did very little to hamper his running ability, either.  :chuckle:
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Offline boneaddict

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #30 on: October 17, 2012, 05:38:15 AM »
ITS BECAUSE I WAS IN THE POOL........Sounds like George Kastanza to me

Offline rasbo

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #31 on: October 17, 2012, 05:52:12 AM »
Im thinking the green score should count as trophy status..6 months of drying? bad bad juju

Offline boneaddict

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #32 on: October 17, 2012, 05:55:04 AM »
If anyone is looking to have a set taxidermied I'd recommend my wife.  She did an excellent job with a set on our mantle.  You can contact her at ........

Offline rasbo

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #33 on: October 17, 2012, 05:56:06 AM »
If anyone is looking to have a set taxidermied I'd recommend my wife.  She did an excellent job with a set on our mantle.  You can contact her at ........
:yike: let us pray :chuckle:

Offline rasbo

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #34 on: October 17, 2012, 06:04:28 AM »
some folks put the trophy on the wall..wonder if that is a ball canning jar

Offline boneaddict

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #35 on: October 17, 2012, 07:15:10 AM »
 :chuckle:



Offline deerhunter_98520

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #36 on: October 17, 2012, 07:17:08 PM »
Ive always threatened my huntin partners with stapling buck nuts to their doors for door knockers...maybe he could do that with the sheep nuts  :dunno:
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Offline bassquatch

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #37 on: October 21, 2012, 08:52:53 AM »
I've seen a few of those sheep that would score big in the "Bone and Crotch-et" record book!  :chuckle:

Unless it was taken with archery equipment, then it would be "Pole & Hung"...
« Last Edit: October 22, 2012, 07:21:06 AM by bassquatch »
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Offline Rockslab

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #38 on: December 01, 2012, 06:49:29 PM »
With snow on the ground I judge the depth of the drag marks inside of the hoof.

Offline ICEMAN

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #39 on: December 01, 2012, 07:15:25 PM »
Why, why, why did I open this thread? :bash:
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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #40 on: December 01, 2012, 07:30:42 PM »
Why, why, why did I open this thread? :bash:

 :lol4: :lol4: :lol4: :lol4: :lol4:
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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #41 on: December 01, 2012, 07:48:23 PM »
  My theory is they also have more “swagger” because of the testicles impeding their walking ability.   If I had two softballs between my legs it would be hard to walk too, and you can be dang sure I would have some swagger.

Yes, it does make walking interesting :chuckle:
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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #42 on: December 01, 2012, 08:00:03 PM »
Why, why, why did I open this thread? :bash:

 :lol4: :lol4: :lol4: :lol4: :lol4:
:yeah: :chuckle: :chuckle: only Bone would have a come back like that  :dunno: ;) :tup:

Offline runamuk

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #43 on: December 01, 2012, 08:02:14 PM »
Why, why, why did I open this thread? :bash:

Only you can answer that question  :chuckle: :chuckle:

Offline Pilot_Hunter

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Re: Field Judging Sheep Testicles
« Reply #44 on: December 05, 2012, 11:00:37 AM »
hahaha

 


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