Big Game Hunting > Other Big Game

Hunting Washington Jokes

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Coasthunterjay:
Figured theres alot of jokes here. someone should start a joke thread.......


heres the first one........


Three men go deer hunting, two are smart, and one is dumb. The first smart one goes out and 2 hours later comes back with a deer. The other two ask how he did it, and he said, "I found the tracks, I followed the tracks, I found the deer, I killed the deer."

So the other smart one goes out, and 1 hour later he comes back with a deer. They ask how he did it. He said " I found the tracks, I followed the tracks, I found the deer, I killed the deer."

So the dumb hunter goes out, and 2 hours later, he comes back beaten and bruised. The other 2 asked what happened. He said "I found the tracks, I followed the tracks, I got hit by a train."

tlbradford:
Two Polish hunters go out and after walking about a mile from the truck shoot a nice buck.  They grab it by the hind legs and start dragging it back to the truck.  After going about a half mile they come across another hunter who tells them it is a lot easier to drag the deer by the horns.  They grab the horns and keep on going.  After another hour has passed one of the guys says, "It sure is easier dragging this deer by the horns."  "Yeah," says the other hunter, "but we sure are getting a long way from the truck."

VirginiaxBoi:
Two old bird hunters (HuntWa and BoneAddict) had been bird hunting together for decades, and every year each would claim to one another they would have the best darn bird dog in the state. And every year like clock work each one of their dog's would not amount to a pile of moose crap. Until one year....

HuntWa came up to Bone and declared. "Bone, I tell ya, I have the best darn bird dog, by GOD, you jus' wait -n- see."

So opening day of bird season came and the two loaded up in their trucks and headed out with HuntWa's new "awesome" bird dog. They get out into the field and it is not even ten minutes HuntWa's new bird dog comes up on a hedge row and immediately locks up, stiffens and points. Then the bird dog stomps his back leg one time. Bone looked at HuntWa... "Hey Hunt, what pray tell does that right there mean?" HuntWa replied. "He is telling me there is one bird in that hedgerow right there". And so Bone went into the hedgerow and sure enough flushed one bobwhite quail.

About an hour the trio had worked their way further down the hedge when Hunt's dog stopped dead in his tracks stiffened and pointed again. This time he lifted his back leg and stomped three times. Bone asked again.. (Because Bone is a little slow to catch on ya know). "Hey Hunt, so what does that mean?". HuntWa replied. "He is telling me there is three birds in the hedge. Hunt moved into the hedge and sure enough flushed three more bobwhite quail out of the hedge.

Towards the end of the day the trio came upon a large group of bushes. When suddenly HuntWas' bird dog froze solid in his tracks, pointed, and then wheeled and proceeded to savagely hump HuntWa's leg. Bone looked at HuntWa... "What in the he..." HuntWa interrupted. "He is telling me there is so many f@#$kin' birds in that bush there is too many for him to count".






(No offense intended, jokes are funnier in first person)

VirginiaxBoi:
I ran a search for hunting jokes... So I thought I would post a couple, here they are:


                                         
Two men were out in the woods hunting.
Suddenly, one of them clasped his chest, suffering from a heart attack.

Instantly, his friend whipped out his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. When the operator came on, she heard a frantic voice say that his friend had just had a heart attack and died. Calmly, she replied that he should make sure that his friend was really dead. He said ok and asked her to hold. A few moments later, the operator heard a gunshot, followed by the man coming back on, confirming the death and asked what he had to do next.

VirginiaxBoi:
Three guys are coming back from a hunting trip, when thier truck breaks down. The 1st guy says I think I saw a farm house back down the road about a mile. So they start walking and by the time they get thier it's getting dark. They ask the lady that lives in the house if they can use her phone, she says "I ain't got a phone but yer welcome to stay here for the night, as long as you don't make fun of my son because he don't have any ears"

So they are all siting around the T.V. with thier own section of the newspaper. The first guy looks up at the boy and says "take care of your teeth because when you get old like me you won't have any"


The second guy looks up over the section of news paper he has and says "boy...you better take good care of your hair because when you get old like me you won't have any"


So then the third guy looks up at the boy and says "boy you better take good care of your eyes because when you get old you won't be able to wear glasses because you ain't got no ears".

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