Holy crap you guys and gals are amazing. Tears in my eyes for sure right now.
I have a bit of a hard time typing so will cut and paste what I posted for the moderators behind the scenes.
here it is;
Ok, so you are all in the know.
I think I last posted in August. Since then, I have continued to work at my office 8 days out of ten. I get CHEMO every other monday. I leave CHEMO with a pump attached to my access port in my chest. It pumps more *censored* into me every five minutes for 48 hours. I am able to work with the pump on, on tuesday. Wednesday I go in for pump removal, usually really tired this day. I work Thursday and Friday. The next week is my good week and can basically do as I please...a bit tired though.
CHEMO causes neuropathy. Basically it kills nerves in your extremities-feet and hands. Your skin darkens and things go numb, with major pins and needles in my feet. This was getting bad, so they modified my chemo (weakened it)....the plus is the neuropathy diminishes a bit, but the bad is that you are now not fighting the cancer as much.
Last Christmas (2014) they gave me a 50% chance of surviving one year, they gave me a 0% chance of being here in two years. Esophageal cancer is one of the worse to get, no cures. Advances in treatment (trial drugs) usually only extend life a month or two. Not worth driving to Seattle 8 times a month for only a two month benefit. Crap, I swear, driving to Seattle one time shortens my life by a month or better.
Right now I do not feel like i am dying, but worry about how fast the cancer will come back. My last CT scan was pretty good,they could not see the cancer, but I have a CEA test done every other week and it is the indicator blood test for cancer. My CEA has skyrocketed in the last 3 months to above the point where I was originally diagnosed. This is tragic news and I suspect cancer is going to rage back soon.
Since November 2013 I have lost about 110 pounds. I had it to lose... They actually do not want me to lose weight because this indicates I am not eating enough. better to battle cancer with proper nutrition, rather than starving the body.
I fished this summer a few times. I hunted grouse and mule deer at my favorite haunts, shot a ton of grouse, saw 8 bucks (7non-shooters, 1 shooter at 675 yards straight up shale, boulders and scattered pine trees. Yeah, I left that buck for next year. The good of the hunt was my brother who had not hunted for 30 years came and brought his 12yr old. Had a blast showing them the mule deer (dissapointment) ropes.
Really cool to pass on my heritage through my brother and son.
My son is now at WSU, in the marching band and went to the Sun (snow) bowl with the cougs. He is really a great young man. My daughter starts college this fall. She is a no BS 4.0 senior at her highschool and is competing with her best friend for valedictorian for her class. My daughter joined me on the muley hunt, we had a blast together. My son opted for studies as he bit off more than he could chew his first semester in college taking 6 classes, plus marching band duties. My kids are awesome. Could not be prouder.
My wife and I are enjoying time together. (Hope she doesn't read this) but she is a bit in denial. I can't blame her though. Imagine watching and knowing your loved one of 35 years is dying before you. Brutal.
The home life is good. Had a few Christmas parties, and a football playoff party that was pretty quiet for some reason.
I hope to chime in here more often. My time is probably better spent with my wife and daughter who is still at home finishing her senior HS year.
I will keep in touch and chat with you all. I really have enjoyed my time over the years getting to know you all. A blessing for sure.
Hey, maybe I will go open up my old Michelle Sucks post, and post up pictures of my rugs on the walls. Just for old times sakes.....
Talk with you all soon.
