When is it time??

[MrsTurkeyFeather]

OK, looking for some opinions/help/advise from ANYONE, esp anyone whos been in this situation. Our Golden Retriever, Morgan (will be 8 on Sept 11) was diagnosed last fall with stage 3 cancer (stage 4 is terminal) after he had a lump removed from his back hip. They'd tested the tumor and found cancer cells at the edges of the incision but not at the depth level they'd cut into him (down into the muscle, toward the bone). We opted for a 2nd surgery to remove more tissue around the edge, they took as much as they could and still have "stretch" to the surrounding skin to stitch him up. The vet said that was all he could remove and it was going to be a cr*p shoot if the cancer would return. Fast forward to early this summer/late spring and another growth starts up in close proximity to where the first was    We took him into the vet and without actual testing they couldn't confirm it was indeed the cancer returning, but it was in the cards.

Now comes the hard part....how do we know when its time to put him down? The growth on his hip is growing, and obviously bugs him because we catch him licking it, sometimes licking it raw. We've also found other smaller growths on other spots of his body. He has a similar sleep pattern as always, although sometimes hes slow/stiff to get up after a long nap. His appetite is still normal, as well as drinking. He'll chase squirrels down the fenceline like a possessed demon and wrestles with our boys.

I know its only a matter of time, but I dont want to "do it" too early if he's not in pain/suffering. So my question is, what do we look for to say its time to say goodbye?!?   

[JJD]

Always a tough decision to make.
I try to do my best to assess when the dogs life becomes more pain than pleasure, then in my opinion, it's time.
Eating and taking fluids is indeed important, as well as their elimination. Watch for lack of urine, and changes in stool.
A lot of panting wihout exercise can indicate pain and lungs or heart failure.  Hair falling out, unable to bear weight without help.
Do your best to keep him comfortable. 
I think he will let you know when it's time.  You will see it in his eyes.  In his heart, he will thank you.
 

[Stilly bay]

Tough question.
Think of Three things the dog really enjoyed doing on a regular basis when he was healthy- eating, drinking and breathing don't count.
How many of those things can he do now?
If it is only one or none- it is probably time.

a tougher question that only you can answer is: Are you keeping the dog alive for the sake of the dog or for yourself?

[Happy Gilmore]

You'll probably know when it's time. My condolences to you and your family.

[wildweeds]

My folks had a golden with cancer in his thigh bone,I told them to just put the dog to sleep,they opted for cutting his leg off,the dog didn't have fun learning to be three legged,the cancer returned to the hip joint 6 months later,nothing could be done the second time.They let the dog hang on in what appeard to me as misery but................"He still wags his tail".......... not a good yardstick,no matter how bad they feel that tail will always wag.As soon as your dog doesn't eat and skips 2 feedings it is time IMO.Better to be swift with it than let them fade away in misery,Staving it off for "Tail wagging,and bright eyes" is selfish on the human part.

[ducksdogsdownriggers]

I agree with Happy, you'll know.  I recently had to put down my 14+ year old BLF, one of the toughest things I've ever done.  You're trying to talk yourself into and out of it at the same time. 

For me, I knew it was time when I loaded her in the back seat of my Expedition as I'd done so many time before, and took her for a ride.  Only difference was, she wasn't enjoying it anymore.  My thoughts go out to you and your family. 

[MrsTurkeyFeather]

Thanks for the advice everyone....hubby and I have talked it over at length and spoke with the vet too...I think we've decided that watching his appetite and "business" will be our signal for when its time, unless of course something blazingly obvious tells us otherwise sooner. Thankfully his appetite although slower, he doesnt inhale his meals like he did even 4-5 mos ago, he is eating & everything is "normal" in the yard....I hate having a game plan, but I feel better knowing he'll be taken care of.

[runamuk]

I've had to do this for a number of dogs, a handful of horses and a few other critters.  You will know, or something will happen that will let you know.  My Borzoi had tumors all over her mammary glands, she still ate like a horse, ran the coyotes off and snoozed in the sun.  She was 16 I was moving back to washington she was a walking skeleton which is saying a lot being a breed thats built very thin to begin with...I discussed it with my vet at length and we opted to put her down the move would have stressed her system and I didnt want to watch her suffer.  That was the hardest decision I ever had to make because she did still have some quality of life...first time I saw a vet cry when putting one down she was a hell of a dog and everybody liked her.  You will know.

[ICEMAN]

We decided to put our beloved 18 year old dog down before he lost his dignity. We wanted him to be able to walk in on his own....  On the day of, I took the day off, I cooked up some elk for him for breakfast, my wife took the day off, she took him on his favorite walk, the kids took the day off school. We all took him to the vet, layed blankets out on the floor and layed with him. What an absolute tear jerker. Cried my eyes out. We then took him to a special place we have in the woods, where a few other family pets are buried. We took pics of him, layed flower petals with him, wrapped him in his blanky and then buried him. Brings back tears today, 4 years later...

[Stilly bay]

We decided to put our beloved 18 year old dog down before he lost his dignity.

Some might say that is putting human traits on an animal (Anthropomorphism if you will) but I really believe that most -if not all- dogs have a sense of dignity, definitely pride.

I will never forget when my old springer couldn't hold her bladder anymore. no one ever scolded her for it, but she had it written all over her face that she was embarrassed and maybe ashamed of herself.

[Don Fischer]

I lost my Drifter at 6 yrs to cancer. It came out at the base of his skull. Vet remove it and though he got it all but wasn't sure. Turned out small cell cancer and it came back a few month's later. I asked my vet how I'd know when it was time and he told me, watch him, you'll know. He was right.

[Redbeard]

My Shepard lab hip dysplasia got real bad real quick.  When he could no longer stand longer than a minute or too I decided it was time.  He had the look on his face that he knew it was time.  I think I teared up once a day every day for a few weeks.

[turkeyfeather]

Unfortunately I think the time is coming faster than anticipated. It finally kinda hit me last night, and I am really starting to dread this.

[dallygirl]

We let our 14 year old Aussie go just after Christmas this past year.  It was the most difficult thing to do but I also feel it was the most loving & unselfish thing we could do for her as she was failing quickly and she was clearly beginning to suffer.  You just kind of know in your heart and have to put those feelings of your own pain & fear aside for the time being to do what is best for your companion.    Many thoughts to you and your family. 

[akirkland]

You will know, trust me. Hardest thing in the world. Very sorry for your situation.

[dawn2dusk]

  as your best friend he/she will let you know. The look and feelin is all you need to know when it's time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[JJD]

Unfortunately I think the time is coming faster than anticipated. It finally kinda hit me last night, and I am really starting to dread this.

I have been through this scenario a number of times over the years.  Sadly enough, it does not get easier with practice.
While it hurts bad to lose one, the thought of living without a dog would be equal misery.

May your hurt become bearable quickly.

[turkeyfeather]

Thank you to all who have offered help and advice either on the thread or thru PM's. An update on Morgan is he still seems to be enjoying playing with the boys and going for walks. Although he does spend alot of time laying by the back door. He is till eating pretty well but we have to entice him with some canned wet food mixed in with the dry(which we have never had to do). His breathing is starting to seem a little more labored. We wake up everyday waiting for that sign that so many of you have said we will see. Mrs. Turkeyfeather and I both agree we don't believe we have seen it yet. So for now we just keep trying to show him how much we love and care for him. Thanks again to you all.

[turkeyfeather]

It is with great sadness that I make a final report on this thread. Unfortunately last night it became clear to us that he was no longer living what could be cosidered a quality life. Just a little while ago we went to the vet and he is now cancer free. Has to be the toughest thing I have dealt with. The vet said he was amazed he had the spirit in him that he still had cause the cancer had spread all over and was one of the most advanced stages he'd seen. According to him most dogs don't hang on that long. Doesn't surprise me one bit that he did. What a trooper. Again thanks to you all. 

[HHPro]

I feel for you turkeyfeather I am sorry for your loss.

[Redbeard]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.