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Author Topic: backcountry bidet  (Read 8535 times)

Offline KFhunter

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backcountry bidet
« on: July 17, 2019, 01:56:55 PM »

Offline KFhunter

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2019, 01:58:09 PM »
for those who gotta have it all


https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008CSDKSQ?pldnSite=1


Is that a squeegee? Or rocky road ice cream scoop..

Offline KFhunter

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2019, 02:06:26 PM »
a tutorial!



Offline Woodchuck

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2019, 02:07:49 PM »
2 words for ya. Baby wipes. Thank me later.
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Offline CoryTDF

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2019, 02:10:25 PM »
Sounds cold and awful.
CoryTDF

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Offline KFhunter

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2019, 02:11:06 PM »
2 words for ya. Baby wipes. Thank me later.

yup what I use, this is for comedy.   I was actually looking at amazon for smaller packs of wipes that don't rip easy, then got distracted  :chuckle:

I had some coleman wipes from walmart...don't use those trust me

Offline KFhunter

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2019, 02:18:12 PM »
This is kinda what I was looking for, weigh nothing, add a dab of water and they grow into a wetwipe.



https://www.amazon.com/Tissues-Compressed-Outdoors-Stronger-Carrying/dp/B00ZIY9YG4/ref=sr_1_13?keywords=camping+wipes&qid=1563398101&s=gateway&sr=8-13



Offline Bullkllr

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2019, 03:22:30 PM »
a tutorial!



A single square of TP... "just to polish the rear view mirror"  :chuckle: :chuckle:
A Man's Gotta Eat

Offline Pegasus

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2019, 03:52:02 PM »
I learned the One Sheet System in Cub Scouts: 

Offline Bushcraft

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2019, 04:20:03 PM »
I now know why some of the REI crowd reek to high heaven when passing them on the trail.

Sheesh....No wonder that flower sniffer in that first video gets a monkey butt!  All he's done is smear some mud around his butt crack, which in turn migrates around the neighborhood and onto/into his clothing.

Screw that...this is how it's done:
  • Find a suitable location with a magnificent vista. The view is critically important.
  • Scratch a hole or turn over a big rock or decomposing log.
  • Hydrate some baby wipes that you dehydrated before the trip. (No sense packing around useless water weight. Just grab an appropriate sized stack from the bag and set it out. It'll be dry in a couple days.)
  • Do your thing.
  • Make enough passes with some TP to get 'er as close to 99% as possible.
  • Use the re-hydrated baby wipes to get the frank and beans, taint and the backside all cleaned up. Maybe touch up the pits while your at it....with new wipes of course.
  • Kick the dirt or rock back over and go wash your d@mn hands or nuke 'em with hand sanitizer.

Other than the cat hole and Third World stance of choice, it's not any different than going at home.

Maybe I should do a video?  :dunno: :chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle:
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Offline Stein

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2019, 05:32:13 PM »
2 words for ya. Baby wipes. Thank me later.

 :yeah:

Two more words, pack extra.

Offline KFhunter

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2019, 05:37:58 PM »
I got some of these

https://www.amazon.com/Portawipes-Compressed-Toilet-Tablet-Tissues/dp/B07HL4YDNH/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=porta+wipes&qid=1563410176&s=gateway&sr=8-6

Just wanted to have some to have around keep in different vehicles.


I got caught out on a bike ride, came back with half a tee shirt, I know better  :chuckle:

Offline Special T

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2019, 07:13:55 PM »
2 words for ya. Baby wipes. Thank me later.
Right? Nothing  finer and the perfect way to prevent  monkeys but, swamp ass and all kinds of other irritation!
I buy Costco babybwipes and they have small travel packs included in the box.
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Offline Fl0und3rz

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2019, 08:06:51 PM »
This thread reminds me of Pman's backcountry mani-pedi thread.

I got caught out on a bike ride, came back with half a tee shirt, I know better  :chuckle:

Went for a run and came back with no shirt once.

Offline Stein

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Re: backcountry bidet
« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2019, 08:26:57 PM »
No shirt, no gloves, an incredibly lucky full sheet of newspaper lodged within reach in a pine tree, even found a piece of bubble wrap once.

 


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