Son just isn't ready yet...

[WDFW Hates ME!!!]

My son Cody is 12, he passed hunter ed 2 years ago. We have been chasing turkeys for 2 years not with no success yet but we will keep trying.
Cody drew a youth doe tag in west klickitat, like shooting fish in a barrel tag.

We are packing up getting ready to head out for camp last night and he comes to me and says dad i am not ready. I said not ready for what? HE says not ready to shoot a deer. I am looking at him with that deer in the headlights look.
I take a breath and put my arm around him and said. Thank you for being honest with me. No biggie. No pressure. We put our stuff away and we will spend the weekend at home now.

No biggie, when he is ready i will be to. I would have gone by myself but i really don't need the deer right now.

Hope all the modern guys are shooting straight today. Good luck all.

[Jason]

Sorry to hear, but he will be ready when he's ready  atleast he was man enough to tell you now.

[Holg3107]

Sounds like you have raised a good kid. He'll let you know when he's ready. Better to make his first experience a positive one than ruin hunting for him if he's uncomfortable. Good luck and keep after them turkeys, that may be what gets him excited to hunt larger game.

[PolarBear]

I am in the exact same boat as you! 
My daughter (11 years old) and I were setting up to shoot her new gun last weekend when she hesitated.  I could see that something was wrong.  She asked if it was okay if we waited until next year for her to hunt deer.  It hit me out of left field because hunting is all she talks about.  I gave her a big hug and did as you, told her thanks for being honest and not rushing into something that she was not 100% comfortable with.  She seems like she might be changing her mind but I refuse to push her into doing anything like this that she does not want to do.  She wants to hunt along with me just not be the one doing the shooting quite yet.  I think the incident at the shooting range a couple of weekends ago got to her.  The gal made me more proud than disappointed.

[NWBREW]

  You should be very proud of your son (I know you are) for stepping up and telling you. I'm sure it wasn't easy for him to do but I believe you just got a small glimpse of the kind of man your son is becoming. No deer.....so what. Congrats to you and your son. That is food for the heart and mind.

You too Polarbear.    except change the son and man part to daughter and women. 

[KFhunter]

I don't wanna play back seat daddy on this but I'm in the same circumstance as you, my boy is the same age and passed hunters ed about the same time.  He got his hunters safety last year about midway thru modern firearms. 
He's a little hesitant to go in the woods since we had a cougar stalk us a couple years back, its always on his mind.  We were picking huclkeberries and brought the bird dog - cat wanted dog - it was a long ordeal with the cat following us out of the woods and I was unarmed (never again)  we had a hard time controlling the dog.
I took him out this morning for the opener and he did great, but I kept it low key low pressure.
 
boys this age are still very much a young kid, they cave under pressure.  If the dad is excited and talks about a hunt a lot he's sitting there thinking about it and it plays on his mind - and he gets cold feet, fear and will try to get out of it. 
kudos to you for not forcing it, but I would suggest more exposure.  Take a few drives around, get an ice cream, go for a few hikes and shoot his gun *a lot*   if he has a fear of the gun then he won't want to go hunting! Do a lot of plinking, my kid keeps the squirrels at bay with an airsoft gun, won't hurt the squirrels but give him a ton of pratice
 
Sometimes I just gotta step back half a step and realize he's only 12, I tend to treat him like he's older. 
My son is still deathly afraid of roller coasters, ya I screwed that up for him when one year he just touched the *must be this high* line and took him on a big coaster 

[BurleyDog]

I hope to be as understanding and empathetic with my kids as you guys are.

I hope your proud of your kids for their honesty and yourself for listening/understanding

[HOYT6.0]

Sounds like you both have raised some good kids.  My oldest is only 5 right now.  Im going to take him duck hunting with me this year for the first time.  He will just watch etc... Took him scouting with me a couple times for elk as well. 

As stated before.  I would be extremely proud of my kids for being that honest.  Takes alot of courage for them, especially when they know that Dad is excited.  Good on them...

[DOUBLELUNG]

It's not that rare.  My son is 12, passed hunter safety 3 years ago, and so far has no interest in hunting.  I am totally fine with that, would love to hunt with him but only if he wants to do it.  Certainly doesn't change how proud I am of my boy.

[runamuk]

That's a great thing for both of you....I have seen how pushing a kid to hunt ruined it and now the kid hates hunting.....

[boneaddict]

Certainly doesn't change how proud I am of my boy.

A-MEN!



I honestly think sometimes folks push their kids too hard to shoot to get their certifications and to hunt. You handled that quite well

[scoyoc5]

Knowing how badly us dads want our kids to share our passion we have to make it about kids and make sure it's when they are ready not when we want them to be ready. it takes a tremendous amount of courage to speak up and be honest.....sounds like a great young man and a leader

[deerslyr]

Sounds like you guys are great dads. Keep in mind some people just will never like to hunt, its just not there thing. I happen to hate football, im sure im in the minority in this one and drove my dad crazy but he never pushed me to play, I was a good wrestler anyways. When it came to hunting It was everything he could do to keep me from getting my license before I was 10. Your doing the right thing by not pushing him, if he wants to go he'll go.

[jackmaster]

to those that have this going on, about the kids not being ready, well a quick story, i grew up shootn 22s and when i passed hunter ed at 12 i had still not shot anything bigger than a 20 guage, well my dad bought me a 30-30 and i was happy as could be but scared to death at the same time, when dad wanted me to shoot it i always found a reason not to, i was absolutly scared to death to shoot a big rifle, and i think my dad knew that but never wanted to push me, i even tried telln him i didnt want to deer hunt, well he talked me into going and as we were huntn alon over in clay city down the tracks, he stopped me and said hey son your gonna need to shoot this gun, i was scared to death but i didnt want to let my dad down, so he set up a target about 60 to 70 yds away, i cock the hammer and looked through the open sights shaken like a dog *censored*n peach seeds, well i touched it off and hit the target, i had found out that shootn that gun was nothin and from that day on i wasnt affraid to shoot anything anymore, i was real happy that dad didnt push me but i was also happy for that little nudge to get me to do somethn i was scared to death to do, the funny thing about the whole thing was that it opened up  a side of me that i never knew was there because i wasnt affraid of anything anymore.....

[WDFW Hates ME!!!]

Cody is in scouts so the outdoors and hiking don't bother him. He has a .270 that he shoots well. He really like to shoot, hell he shoots my 12 gauge with no prob. He just isn't ready to kill a deer yet. He really wants to kill a turkey though so maybe we will go look for turkeys and we will take his rifle just in case.
 
Good on you guys for not pushing the kids. I hope my son hunts big game with me but if he doesn't that would be fine also.

[SniperDanWA]

When I was little, my grandpa's 12ga Stevens breech load was ominous.  I watched my dad shoot coon, strays, a steer, pig, but I was always scared of that gun.  Heck, even today, that gun bruises up my shoulder.  My son loves it.  He likes my Mossberg more.  When I took him out to the range with the 06, he watched the kick and I saw hat I must have looked like with that 12ga.  He has taken to the 06 now, but he loves the 10-22 the best.  This is his first year with modern elk.  I think he is ready, 14.  I'll know when he sees the first one.

Keep up the family stuff, guys.  I know the kids will come through.  I know that my son will.  I know my 8yr od daughter will, just not sure my 12yr od girl will ever shoot again.  Got kicked in the chin while shooting clay this summer.

[STIKNSTRINGBOW]

Although I support your decision to stay home, I would have still gone, just to camp and look around.
No pressure on him, just a camping trip.
My kids love to camp and I look forward to the day they have hunting licenses.
A weekend in the woods is way better than a weekend at home.
It is O.K. not to want to shoot something, that thought still goes through my head at "the moment", but not going out in the woods if you are not going hunting (or ready to kill)
seems to me like just giving up, and might instill a "forget it if I cannot get something" attitude.
I mean no offence, my kids are not ready yet, and I am still learning how to be a father myself (8 years)
But they go "hunting" without weapons now, if they were old enough to have a license and tag, and we had planned on going, we would still go.
They just don't "have" to shoot if/when presented with the opportunity.
I know I do not, and will not change plans to go camping just because someone doesn't want to shoot an animal.
I try to teach my kids that I am going to keep my word, and plans that are made days/weeks in advance are only changed in the event of an emergency.
As I said, it is O.K. if he did not want to hunt, but I would have still gone and sat around a campfire, talked to other hunters, maybe taken a walk and spent the time in the woods.
Who knows, he might have a change of heart, but staying at home, 

[WDFW Hates ME!!!]

He just didn't want to go. He camps with the scouts one weekend a month and i was surprised when he said he didn't even want to go camping. He has been in a funk lately.
I have been out of town all summer so we havn't spent alot of time together this summer. This was my first weekend off in a while so we are spending as a family at home.

[Green Lantern]

Don't forget he's at that age where blacktail isn't the only tail on his mind. He probably has a girl he likes in the neighborhood and wanted to stay at home.

[fish vacuum]

Sounds like the kid spoke up and was honest. That's good. Pretty mature move on his part. It also lso sounds like dad took it well and left him plenty of room to grow in the future. 

[Guy]

I think you did good, not pushing him into it. When he's ready, you'll both know.

Guy

[KFhunter]

Don't forget he's at that age where blacktail isn't the only tail on his mind. He probably has a girl he likes in the neighborhood and wanted to stay at home.

haha
 
he's 12 dude, prolly just getting his first real pimple on his nose
x-box is the only thing on his mind
 
 

[STIKNSTRINGBOW]

He just didn't want to go. He camps with the scouts one weekend a month and i was surprised when he said he didn't even want to go camping. He has been in a funk lately.
I have been out of town all summer so we havn't spent alot of time together this summer. This was my first weekend off in a while so we are spending as a family at home.

I guess if he did not even want to go camping, then not much you can do about it.
Congrats on a great kid !