1911's suck

[superdown]

The 1911 sucks
2/13/14 | by Jim Grant   0 101
I hate 1911 pistols. It’s true. I own three and all of them have ruined my life.

It was a brisk Sunday morning in September and I was taking a walk with my future wife along the storefronts of Plymouth, Massachusetts. At that time I owned a single rifle, a Yugoslavian M48 Mauser in 8mm. I am a huge history buff and bought my rifle solely based on its historical significance. In fact, I hadn’t even fathomed the possibility of a CCW, until I spoke to my town’s chief about getting an FID gun license.

See, Mass is a “may-issue” state where issuing a gun license is at the discretion of the issuing officer. In other words, if the cop doesn’t like the way you look, he can tell you to pound sand with no burden of proof.

As a lad freshly-turned 21, folks in the know told me that I would have to apply for an FID first, which only allows ownership of low-capacity rifles, wait 3 to 5 years, and then apply for an LTC-A license. The LTC-A allows holders to not only purchase pre ban high-capacity pistols and rifles, but also carry a handgun for self defense. Some town’s chiefs would never issue LTC-As, so you didn’t want to piss him off by asking, thus ruining your chances at obtaining a FID and destroying any chance of firearms ownership.

When I went to see the officer in charge at my local precinct to inquire about an FID, I was pleasantly surprised, then mortified. He was a family friend that my parents had known for years. The combination of my parents being staunchly anti-gun, me living under their roof while I was looking for a full time job and not letting them know of my intentions of firearms ownership, made me quite nervous. After talking a few minutes I told the issuing officer my objective to be a gun collector and he replied with, “Why don’t you get an LTC-A? The training requirements are the same and you can get whatever you want.” The results were beyond my wildest expectations. Not only could I buy the Mauser of my dreams, but I could buy all sorts of things. Trying not to seem suspiciously surprised, I profoundly muttered, “Yeah…uh…sure.”

Back to that sunny day in Plymouth.

The pistol of mention, my first  handgun. (Photo by: Jim Grant)
The pistol of mention, my first handgun and a total jerk (Photo by: Jim Grant)

As I strolled past a sporting good store, I noticed a sign I had never seen before:  ”Customers with firearms should enter directly through the gun store entrance.” Advertising a gun store openly in Mass is kind of like advertising an abortion clinic in Alabama. Regardless of your personal feelings on the subject, you know it’s a bad idea.

At that point I pulled an about face and feeling like a pervert walking past an adult store, tried to steer myself into the shop nonchalantly.

Inside I was immediately hit with the intoxicating scent of Hoppe’s 9 and cosmoline. Lee enfields, Mausers, Mosins, Krags and even the infamous AR15 lined the walls. I was astounded. From my internet research I knew people could sell these guns in MA, but I figured they were tantamount to unicorns or 100-dollar Colt Pythons. Sure they exist, but I would never see one in my lifetime.

Bathed in the heavenly light of fluorescent bulbs was a USGI type, Auto Ordnance 1911 pistol in glorious .45 ACP. The pistol looked like Tom Hanks had just destroyed the Panzer at the end of Saving Private Ryan, then handed it to me. As a young, impressionable lad with an unhealthy amount of World War II knowledge, I was practically giddy. I’m fairly certain I uncoordinatedly pointed with my whole arm, belting out: “How much!?”

“$599 and I’ll cut you a deal on a box of ammo,” The clerk replied. I could not get my liscence or wallet out fast enough, I practically threw them at the man.

“Declined.”

“What,” I sheepishly probed, grinning to cover my dismay. I didn’t listen to his explanation as he returned my cards and began the walk of shame to shop door.

I was deemed unworthy. An outcast from this enclave of artillery and antiquity. I felt like Churchill with London burning; it was my darkest hour.

Once outside, I called my bank to tell them how much I hated them. During the course of this exchange I was informed that since I didn’t make large purchases often my per day credit limit was a mere $400.

“Let’s go the ATM. I’ll withdraw the other $200, so you can get your pistol,” my girlfriend said after a heavy sigh.

A series 70 Colt 1911 shown next to other cutting edge technology from the 70's (Photo by: Jim Grant)
A series 70 Colt 1911 shown next to other cutting edge technology from the 70′s (Photo by: Jim Grant)

If any jaded hearts amongst you don’t believe in true love, you have never heard these words in your entire life. If I had hugged her at that very moment, the force my joy would have popped her head off like a dandylion.

With finances in order, I approached the altar of arms and after the million-question form was filled out, I was bestowed with the 1911 and a box of ammo.

The 35 minute drive home felt like 4 years. Upon arrival I stripped, cleaned and oiled the gun a dozen times. Memorising the manual of arms and marveling at the tool-less disassembly.

Since it was Sunday and the closest range I could get to was closed I had to wait until next weekend to go shooting. It wasn’t a very productive week at work. The majority of time was spent online researching and ogling 1911s.

When Saturday arrived I embarked on a pilgrimage to the American Firearms School in North Attleborough. I paid for a lane, an extra box of ammo and 1 spare USGI magazine. As I approached my lane, wearing cheap rental glasses and ear-muffs, I could feel the excitement building. I loaded my magazines and placed one in the magwell of the Parkerized pistol. My hands were shaking horribly. I had never fired a handgun before in my life. I had been told the .45 ACP round was a man-stopper with the force of a Mack truck. Foes shot with the .45 didn’t just lose blood, they lost limbs. I locked my elbow, tea-cupping with my support hand, aligned the sights carefully and yanked the trigger. BOOM! The indoor range seemed to magnify the weapon’s blast.

It was terrible. I got soot in my nose, my ears were ringing, my wrists were sore and so was my face, from the enormous *censored*-eating grin I wore the entire time.

The 1911 is the epitome of pistol ergonomics. The angle is perfect, the trigger pull is a work of art and the reload is quick; everything about the gun is top notch. That’s why I hate it.

Can you imagine what life would be like as an adult, if every girl you dated in high school was super model? Nothing else even compares. It’s like learning to drive in a Shelby Cobra, then buying an ‘88 Corolla. The Corolla is a good, reliable car, but compared to the muscle car it’s 3rd rate at best.

The 1911 ruined all other pistol platforms for me. If the handgun isn’t single action and made of steel, I’m just settling.

[superdown]

I found this article on Guns.com and thought it was a fun read

[jasnt]

Nice story

[pianoman9701]

I have an XD .45. It's a good gun. Does what it's told to and I have no complaints. I would trade it away toward a 1911 Colt without looking back - I've always wanted one. Thanks for the story. I enjoyed it!

[NRA4LIFE]

A Gold Cup nearly ruined my life about 25 years ago.  I can't believe I paid that much for a gun back then.

[Mongo Hunter]

Love 1911's, grew up in a 1911 loving home, love shooting them, love the feel of an ALL STEEL gun in my hand. that being said, there are better guns now a days, lighter, higher mag capacity, more reliability. but there is something to the feel of the good ol 1911 

[Biggerhammer]

Perfect.

[huntandjeep]

  I never saw the big fascination with 1911's thought they were old school technology. Then I shot one a buddy had . Next day I was at the my  local store and picked up a Kimber , two weeks later stopped on the way home and grabbed a Springfield Operator. My wife hates 1911's now 

[BLR 243]

especially Kimber gold combats

[Bofire]

  :)I have owned them all(sigs,glocks,etc dbl action, single), the 1911 is my all time favorite and I have trusted my life to them many times.
Carl

[wadu1]

I trained on 1911's in the Army, close quarter drills and on the pistol team for out ADA Battery. The only one I have sold  was a 1942 Union Switch and Signal all mil spec. After getting married 34 years ago the hot water tank went south and me without much $$$ I sold it. Of the 4 that I have owned or own it was by far the best shooting. Hate them yes when they bite you and I'll hate myself when I get the next one. Anybody want to trade a CZ75 for a 1911??

[Sportfury]

I love my Sig 1911. Second pistol I have bought and it is just as fun to shoot as my Browning Buckmark.

[actionshooter]

The only one I have sold  was a 1942 Union Switch and Signal all mil spec.

Oh- that hurts! That is the prize of very few collections,

[Biggerhammer]

I love my Sig 1911. Second pistol I have bought and it is just as fun to shoot as my Browning Buckmark.

Same here but the true 1911 purists get all uptight about the external extractor. My Scorpion is the most dependable factory 1911 I've ever owned. Lots of rounds through it and not a single malfunction.

[TangoU]

Love my Sig 1911 TacOps TB.  When my friends see it, they get all weepy. 

[Biggerhammer]

Talked to one of the sig Rep's at Hooked On Toys in Wenatchee. He said they are coming out with a TacOps in .357 Sig fairly soon. I like the handgun and I like the cartridge, should make for a great combo one doesn't see very often. As soon as they hit the distributes, the guys at Hooked On will order one in for me.

[aaronoto]

I think every 1911 owner can relate to this story!

And Sig makes a heck of a 1911 for the price, I have a Scorpion as well.  Besides being great shooting guns, when you start comparing all that you get in a $1,000 1911 from Sig it just makes them that much better.

[ksblazer]

First semi automatic centerfire handgun I ever fired was a 1911. I was only 19 or 20 and a guy from the gun store loaned me his and told me to go down to the range and fire it.

I shot some nice groups with it and it never malfunctioned with the 100rds I put through it. Still being young I wanted to be cool and have something with a little more capacity. Bought a Browning .40 high power. Never could shoot it as well as that 1911 and I liked the 1911 trigger much better. After that I picked up a Glock 23 as the Glock since they were the cool pistol to have. I fired it a little better than the high power and got better with more practice. But I still didn't like the trigger and feel as well as a 1911.

After not doing much shooting for a few years I decided to get back into it. Spoke with a guy at the gunstore and told him my experiences. He had a 1911 and told me I should get one. After thinking it over I picked up a used Dan Wesson 1911 Pointman major for a good price. The first time I took it to the range it shot so well with it. That I instantly fell in love with it.

Ever since then I have been a 1911 guy and swear by them. If I could only keep 1 centerfire handgun from my collection. It would definitely be one of my 1911's.

[Bofire]

  me too, for many years I HAD to have, dbl/sngl action, decockers, dbl stack mags, etc. The more I shot competition, the more I had to have 1911's. I just like them,. shoot where I point, slim, carry well, simple, SIMPLE, carry cocked and locked, they are VERY fast, and did I say Simple?!! LOL and fast.
Carl

[Sportfury]

I think every 1911 owner can relate to this story!

And Sig makes a heck of a 1911 for the price, I have a Scorpion as well.  Besides being great shooting guns, when you start comparing all that you get in a $1,000 1911 from Sig it just makes them that much better.

Agreed. Mine has a factory three lb. trigger, nice and tight, and works smooth. I love it.

[BONE COLLECTOR]

That's a good story, I've been looking at the 1911's for about 6 months now and knew when i saw the right one I'd know and buy it. We'll i was at the local pawn the other day and behold a brand new ruger 1911 "commander" with 4.25 barrel in stainless with cherry wood grips!! Had to have it.... don't have the funds. The clerk say's "we do lay away" 25% down have 3 month to pay off. I can do that i said. Put the 25% down but after about 6 hours i knew i couldn't wait that long to get my hands on it. Talked to the girlfriend and barrowed the rest and within 20hr's of the layaway i had my hands on it. Ordered a guide model leather holster out of Alaska. It's shoots great and is my full time carry now.

[Jeeper]

Psalm 1911 - an oldy but a goody


PSALM 1911
In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was THE pistol, and it was good. And behold the Lord said, thou shalt not muck with my disciple John's design for it is good and it worketh. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the Lord, gave him upon the mountain.
And shouldst thou muck with it, and hang all manner of foul implements upon it, and profane its internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to harm.
And as the ages passed, men in their ignorance and arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases upon the 1911 and their metal smiths didst tighten the tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust.
Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the profaning of the internal parts didst render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it.
And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an abomination unto the Lord. For they doth break and lose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who have done so will be slain in great numbers by their enemies in the Great Battle.
And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as he had warned, fearful malfunctions to come upon the abominations and upon the artisans who thought they could do no wrong.
Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men the lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy vast quantities of them.
And being a deceitful spirit, the lord of the underworld did make these plastic pistols unamenable to the artisans of earth and they were unable to muck much with the design, and lo these pistols did appear to function.
And the Evil One also brought forth pistols in which the trigger didst both cock and fire them and which require a "dingus" to make them appear safe.
But man, being stupid, did not understand these new pistols and didst proceed to shoot themselves with the plastic pistol and with the trigger-cocking pistols for lo their manual of arms required great intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continue to gloat over these new pistols blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves had committed.
And when man had been totally ensnared with the plastic pistol, the lord of the Underworld didst cause a plague of the terrible "Ka-Boom" to descend upon man and the plastic pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the land.
Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement of men, they didst begin to work as the prophet had intended.
And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and profaners from the land, and there was joy and peace in the land, except for the evil sprits which tried occasionally to prey on the men and women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation by the followers of John.