Freezer is full (well, almost) and with a slightly heavy heart

[DoubleJ]

Sitting in my spot tonight.  Been hitting this spot hard for a week and a half.  In the past 10 days, my sons and I have seen a bigger 2x2, a spike, 2 does each with 2 fawns and a lone doe.  The freezer is empty so, I would have been happy with the lone doe, the spike, or the 2x2. 

The spike was actually last on that list.  He was the smallest of the 3 deer, and lively.  The spirit in this deer made my heart jump a bit.  3 times we have seen him sparring with the scotch broom.  Sticking his head into a bush, swinging it like he was an ancient warrior fighting with a fierce dragon.  Then he'd jump back, jump about 5 feet into the air, rush forward and stab at the bush again.  In the past 10 days, we have literally lost a few hours watching this young boy. 

Well, guess who showed his face tonight.  He was the only deer I saw tonight and the only deer I've seen at this spot within bow range in 10 days.  He got my attention by sparring with another bush.  As I steadied my bow and went to full draw, he cleared the corner where he was at.  Light was dimming fast.  I could literally see the pin losing it's grasp on the light.  12 yards away, the young buck stared at me almost head on.  He only took one step giving me a very poor quartering towards shot.  I hate that angle.  As the very last seconds of light slipped away, he lost interest in me and turned his head to the left, giving me a very clear and open 12 yard neck shot.  I squeezed the release.  The arrow flew true, piercing his neck and stabbing deep into his spine.  He fell where he stood, let out a very quiet moan, and expired completely withing 15 seconds.  This was the 4th deer I have killed but the first with a bow and honestly the quickest death of any of them.

I was happy as I realized the freezer would have some good eats in it in a few days.  I had that adrenaline rush we all crave.  Not quite Stan Potts level but, excited none the less.  As I approached him, I was hit with an emotion I had never had with a kill before.  I was a bit sad.  This deer, while doing his duty to feed my family, had more life and spirit than any deer I have ever seen, and I just put an end to that.  As I processed him, my mind was filled the entire time with his jumping and playing.  I will NEVER forget this deer as long as I live.

On a side note, I now have a severely pulled back muscle as a result of putting this boy in my garage fridge.  One might say, it was his final revenge.

[elksnout]

To be honest I always feel some remorse after taking an animal. Always thought it would be cool to snap my fingers and have him get up and do it all over again. Kinda silly, huh? But I give thanks, snap a few pictures, maybe a handshake or a hug from my boy, put the tag on and get to work.... But I damn well love the meat and the hunting experience for sure. I have always referred to this as a "hunters heart". I think I read that once years ago. Your story is one of the best on here DoubleJ.

[Jason]

To be honest I always feel some remorse after taking an animal. Always thought it would be cool to snap my fingers and have him get up and do it all over again. Kinda silly, huh? But I give thanks, snap a few pictures, maybe a handshake or a hug from my boy, put the tag on and get to work.... But I damn well love the meat and the hunting experience for sure. I have always referred to this as a "hunters heart". I think I read that once years ago. Your story is one of the best on here DoubleJ.

My thoughts exactly,  Congrats on the harvest DoubleJ.

[npaull]

It's always a mix of emotions, at least, it is if you're an ethical hunter. I'm sure there some yahoos out there who don't give it an extra thought.

It's a weird mix that's hard to describe, but I just think it means your head's in the right place as a hunter. Sounds like the deer died well and fast, which is about the best thing any deer can hope for.

Congratulations on a successful season.

[halflife65]

Well said, npaull.

Congratulations DoubleJ.

[DoubleJ]

Thanks guys

[7mmfan]

I was told by my dad when I was young that if you didn't feel bad killing an animal, then you had no place hunting. I have never killed an animal that I didn't feel remorse for. The last buck I killed ran about 100 yards on a double lung hit with my rifle, coughing blood the whole way. When I got to him he was just expiring and it was a very tough moment.

It must have been particularly tough for you shooting him after spending so much time watching him, honestly I may have made the choice to let him walk just because of that. But good job on a clean kill and feeding your family. You did what man has been doing for eons now and did it very well.

[high country]

Friend, its ugly watching death take place of your own actions, but god put him there just for you.....enjoy you meals and be thankful.

[Ripper]

You guys are right on the money. It's respect for the animal. If I ever loose that feeling, I'll stop hunting.

[BoomWhop]

 

[JKEEN33]

On my nephews first big game hunt we got an elk and after gutting it and dragging it out we loaded it in the truck. As we were driving out with all of us in the back with the elk, my nephew kept looking at it trying not to start crying. He wasn't very old, but I told him it was a good thing to feel bad. We had killed something that wanted to live as bad as we did. We should be respectful and not wasteful. I love to hunt and I eat what I kill so I enjoy being successful, but it's not about the actual kill that does it for me.

[DoubleJ]

I was told by my dad when I was young that if you didn't feel bad killing an animal, then you had no place hunting. I have never killed an animal that I didn't feel remorse for. The last buck I killed ran about 100 yards on a double lung hit with my rifle, coughing blood the whole way. When I got to him he was just expiring and it was a very tough moment.

It must have been particularly tough for you shooting him after spending so much time watching him, honestly I may have made the choice to let him walk just because of that. But good job on a clean kill and feeding your family. You did what man has been doing for eons now and did it very well.

The hardest part is knowing that 10 seconds later and I would have let him walk.  And I would have had no hard feelings about it.  I look back, just a few hours ago now and wonder if I should have let him go.

[Fishhunt223]

You guys are right on the money. It's respect for the animal. If I ever loose that feeling, I'll stop hunting.

That is exactly how I feel. I have way more respect for the animals I take than any man.

[mkcj]

 

[7mag.]

I'm glad you wrote this. I always get buck fever and a little sad. If I ever get numb to the taking of life, I'm going to stop hunting. Good for you. This may be your most prized trophy, regardless of antler size.

[kckrawler]

I have always referred to this as a "hunters heart".

Well put! 

[Huntboy]

You guys are right on the money. It's respect for the animal. If I ever loose that feeling, I'll stop hunting.

[deerslyr]

I have had the same feeling with all of my animals. My first and only bow kill it seemed more personal to me though and really cut deep

[baldopepper]

I've taken a lot of game animals over the years (been hunting for 50 years) and I've always felt that remorse after the initial excitment of the kill.  I'm to the point now where the "blood lust" is gone, I still love to hunt and feel the thrill of "taking" the animal, but have lately been thinking it would be fun just to have a good paint cartridge that would splatter the animal without killing it.  Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not anti hunting or anti taking the animal for the freezer, it's just a personal thing where I still love the persuit , but don't need the actual kill.  I think sometimes anti hunters don't understand how much "good" hunters actually love and respect the animals we hunt.  Hard to explain the concept to them.

[Huntbear]

You guys are right on the money. It's respect for the animal. If I ever loose that feeling, I'll stop hunting.

 

Could not have said it better! 

Awesome story Double J.   

[luvz2hunt]

I'm glad you wrote this. I always get buck fever and a little sad. If I ever get numb to the taking of life, I'm going to stop hunting. Good for you. This may be your most prized trophy, regardless of antler size.

i totally agree! 

[DoubleJ]

I think sometimes anti hunters don't understand how much "good" hunters actually love and respect the animals we hunt.  Hard to explain the concept to them.

This is my wife.  I am fighting that battle right now.  She is mad because my kids have "seen me glorify killing a living animal".  She tried to say since we have deer in our backyard that we feed and look after, that killing a deer 10 miles away is the same as killing a dog or a cat and that I've shown the kids it's ok to kill a pet.  What a wonderful day I have ahead of me 

[rebal69972]

You guys are right on the money. It's respect for the animal. If I ever loose that feeling, I'll stop hunting.

x2

[GoldTip]

Congrats on filling the freezer.

[quadrafire]

I think sometimes anti hunters don't understand how much "good" hunters actually love and respect the animals we hunt.  Hard to explain the concept to them.

This is my wife.  I am fighting that battle right now.  She is mad because my kids have "seen me glorify killing a living animal".  She tried to say since we have deer in our backyard that we feed and look after, that killing a deer 10 miles away is the same as killing a dog or a cat and that I've shown the kids it's ok to kill a pet.  What a wonderful day I have ahead of me 

Thats a tough one there. My wife isn't really into it either.

Loved your story. I think feeling that way is a good thing.

[CedarPants]

Great story DoubleJ, and "Hunter's Heart" is a perfect way of putting it.  I started noticing this feeling in my late 20's ... now in my mid 30's I'm fully aware of it.  These days when I have a deer down, the first few minutes after I walk up on it are typically spent with me kneeling at the deer's side, gently petting it, and thanking it for giving its life to sustain my family.  The deer I harvested last year was a double lung shot and he hadn't expired when I walked up to him - and to be honest with everyone on here I had to look away while he did. 

There is the highest level of respect for the animals involved that is hard to put into words, and I always feel remorse.  All 3 of my boys will be raised with these same principles.  Like many of you have said, the day I don't feel remorse for taking a life from the forest, I'm done hunting

[bearhunter99]

Excellent write up.  That is the kind of story PETA numnuts will never understand.

[Chesapeake]

I think sometimes anti hunters don't understand how much "good" hunters actually love and respect the animals we hunt.  Hard to explain the concept to them.

This is my wife.  I am fighting that battle right now.  She is mad because my kids have "seen me glorify killing a living animal".  She tried to say since we have deer in our backyard that we feed and look after, that killing a deer 10 miles away is the same as killing a dog or a cat and that I've shown the kids it's ok to kill a pet.  What a wonderful day I have ahead of me 

Every cow ever killed was a pet. Same for chickens, goats, sheep, pigs, all the hatchery fish we catch, ect........... Just sayin.

Good job on the harvest.

[Klyne3]

I think sometimes anti hunters don't understand how much "good" hunters actually love and respect the animals we hunt.  Hard to explain the concept to them.

This is my wife.  I am fighting that battle right now.  She is mad because my kids have "seen me glorify killing a living animal".  She tried to say since we have deer in our backyard that we feed and look after, that killing a deer 10 miles away is the same as killing a dog or a cat and that I've shown the kids it's ok to kill a pet.  What a wonderful day I have ahead of me 

Every cow ever killed was a pet. Same for chickens, goats, sheep, pigs, all the hatchery fish we catch, ect........... Just sayin.

Good job on the harvest.

Actually I think your wrong on basis that every animal killed was a pet. However we've raised animals for the freezer and my kids have taken to naming them - hamburger, steak, fried, sunday dinner etc. I think that kids should know where their food is actually coming from (and not think it just magically appears packaged in a grocery store) and respect the animals for providing for us. But not to threadjack. Congrats on having the opportunity to put meat in the freezer, the touching story and also having a Hunter heart to respect the animal as you did.

[724wd]

I was told by my dad when I was young that if you didn't feel bad killing an animal, then you had no place hunting.

best quote i've seen in a long time. 

If there was a way to catch-and-release hunt that still allowed me to have a freezer full of wild meat and some photos to remind me of the day, i'd be all over it!   

[d-rock]

Thanks for sharing.  I am going to take my youngest son on a doe hunt this year and get to pass this lesson on to him.  I think I will ask him to read this thread to emphasize that other ethical hunters really do feel the same.

[DBHAWTHORNE]

Great story. Thank you for sharing. I think respect for the animal is one of the most important aspects of hunting.

[DoubleJ]

Update:  He was processed tonight and yielded 44.3lbs of meat.  almost nothing wasted as all bones were cut into serving sizes, silverskin and fat portioned out and frozen for the dogs.  Total amount of waste fit into one Wal Mart plastic bag and included only the hide and skull.

[deerslyr]

sounds like you did good considering you were hunting close to home and didnt spend much gas on getting him