The vegan approved grouse…

[Redstar]

I know what you’re thinking, but I promise the title will make sense after you read this post.

Uncoolperson, captbly and I decided to head out grouse hunting opening day after work. I was pretty excited, I haven’t hunted grouse in years, so I had everything packed the night before.

So, fast forward a bit. We get to our spot, park the truck and start gearing up. Captbly is manning the camera for this outing since he has yet to actually go get his license… Uncool grabes his .22 as I’m putting on my orange (opening day, figured it was a smart move). I pull out my rifle case and remove my .22…

As soon as I pulled my .22 out of the case I knew immediately what I forgot to pack... The keys to the cable lock…

Crap. This should be interesting. Hmm…  What now? (Inner monolog below)
-Do I use the rifle as a club? No, bad idea.
-Throw rocks at the grouse? No, you’d probably miss and spoil Uncool’s chance at a shot.
-Find a big stick? No, that probably won’t work too well either.
-Wonder if I could chase one down? They can fly stupid, last I checked you can’t…

I initially decided that I would just tag along so we could get on the trail. But, being good buddies, my hunting party convinced me to try to get the lock open since we still had plenty of daylight left.

We had limited tools, but what the heck a new lock is cheap to free and this one is made in China. How hard could it really be to break into?!
-First we tried wire cutters.  Fail-sauce.
-Then we tried jamming a screw driver into it and trying to force the lock tumbler open. Lock 1, screwdriver 0.
-Next I tried cursing at it. Instead of opening it tried to bite me.
-Captbly says “I used to be able to pick locks.” Used to ends up being the key phrase there.
-Then we tried the wire cutters again. I think we ended up bending the cutters.
-Maybe if I curse louder I can convince it to open… Nope, still nothing.

We need a saw.

Score, Uncool has a hacksaw blade.
Fast forward again - Have you ever tried cutting hardened steel with just a hacksaw blade? We made negative progress with the saw – no really, we did. Turns out it was an Emo saw blade. It cut itself until there were no teeth left on the blade.

So now that we had a very dull saw blade, bent wire cutters and were starting to repeat curse words what should we do? Hit it with a hammer of course! Ok, so the game plan is to pretend this is just a very big and annoying paper clip… If we can bend it back and forth enough times maybe the cable will break.

Rar! Redstar Smash!
(For those of you wondering, yes I was very paranoid the whole time about accidentally hitting the gun, my fingers, the truck, ect…)

It worked! Smasy tool for the win! Let’s go hunting!

We walked about 300 yards before Uncool spotted the first grouse. Good to know hammering and swearing does not scare grouse away. However, quietly pointing and then aiming a rifle will scare a grouse. Note for next time…

It flushed way back into the woods. We tried to follow but eventually decided to head further up and look for more grouse.

Less than a mile further up Uncool stops us again. “You hear that?”  I heard a rustling sound but didn’t see anything.  After he spotted the bird, he quietly pointed toward the bird and started to bring his .22 to his shoulder.  Again it flushed.

I’m seeing a pattern here. Maybe we should have brought the hammers instead of guns…

Anyway, same story as last time. The bird flies into really dense cover and since we were barley a mile in we decided to head further up the trail.

We walked for another hour or so but didn’t see anything else. On our way back out, we’re dying (that might not be the right word to use…), ok we really, really want to find another grouse. Looking left, looking right, high, low. Nothing. Finally we get back to the spot we saw the first grouse.

What is that? It’s brown, it’s on a branch about 20 feet off the ground. Is it moving? I think that’s a grouse! Rifle ready, well it didn’t flush, what is it? Can’t quite make it out through the brush, I need to get closer. Grabbed the hammer and started swearing so I’d have a chance of sneaking up on it this time. Ok not really, but you get the point.

Turns out it was a leaf.

I didn’t know how to cook it so I left the grouse/leaf there.
For future reference - Anybody have a recommendation on how to prepare a vegan approved “grouse?”  Would a free range leaf qualify as a vegan meal? Does the fact the leaf was actively hunted affect it’s vegan status?

Anyway, other than captbly walking in front of us a few times, the rest of the hunt was pretty uneventful (and unsuccessful). But at least we saw a couple grouse and had a chance to get outside. Maybe one of these days we’ll come home with dinner.

And don’t worry, I’ve already got another funny story from a different outing with Uncoolperson I’ll share when I have more time.

[Forrestrover]

Well, at least you brought your gun! Saturday morning, my brother and I get out to the woods bright and early, the dog is so excited he can't contain himself, I'm getting my gear out of my rig, then I ask him, "Where's your gun?!?!" He left it at his house.

[uncoolperson]

(For those of you wondering, yes I was very paranoid the whole time about accidentally hitting the gun, my fingers, the truck, ect…)

didn't you smash/mar/scratch all those things?

[hawksfan75]

I demand pictures of the new stealth target.

Even though I've heard the story, it's still pretty funny…

[sisu]

That was a great story. I like your jocularity in the face of the known. I've been there but not with a gun. Tried to go SCUBA diving without a regulator,  Alpine skiied several times without my poles. No big deal there but they are nice to have. As a kid I forgot toilet paper many times  some leaves are just not meant for that sort of thing.     And the list goes on.
Heck I knew two brothers in Alaska, new comers, that claimed to have "shot" a moose. They NEVER looked for a blood spot or did a finishing shot to the lungs or a .22 behind the ear. Instead they put their rifle in the antlers and did a Kodak moment, but as they did the shot the moose came to and according to them wandered off with their one and only rifle. Now this is their story, if it is true then it's a good one, if it's a tall tale then it still is a good one.

[uncoolperson]

That was a great story. I like your jocularity in the face of the known. I've been there but not with a gun. Tried to go SCUBA diving without a regulator,  Alpine skiied several times without my poles. No big deal there but they are nice to have. As a kid I forgot toilet paper many times  some leaves are just not meant for that sort of thing.     And the list goes on.
Heck I knew two brothers in Alaska, new comers, that claimed to have "shot" a moose. They NEVER looked for a blood spot or did a finishing shot to the lungs or a .22 behind the ear. Instead they put their rifle in the antlers and did a Kodak moment, but as they did the shot the moose came to and according to them wandered off with their one and only rifle. Now this is their story, if it is true then it's a good one, if it's a tall tale then it still is a good one.

not lying here just to keep the story going, but I once saw a picture of a moose with a rifle stuck in it's rack (wandering across a field)... from memory it was at some tackle shop on the kenai peninsula, bolt action with a scope and the sling all tangled.

[seth30]

need a lock bro?  I have 5 left....http://hunting-washington.com/smf/index.php/topic,55187.0.html

[donsk16]

Hilarious...well, not really, but I think we have all been there!  I haven't ever forgotten the gun or the keys...have forgotten the bullets before (lucky I always keep 3 in my pack for "emergencies") - but I know the feeling, for a good 10 minutes I was tearing apart my truck panicked until I realized I had a few!

[jeepster]

last year i went on a hunt (3+hours away) with my muzzelloader, geared up, grabbed my gun and bag, got all the way out there, went to make a shot, and realized i didnt have any caps so i just yelled bang and threw a roundball at the deer and walked off

[Gobble]

last year i went on a hunt (3+hours away) with my muzzelloader, geared up, grabbed my gun and bag, got all the way out there, went to make a shot, and realized i didnt have any caps so i just yelled bang and threw a roundball at the deer and walked off

I think I would have pulled the matches out of my pack and lit it like a cannon, at least you would have had a chance