The things I've learned while failing at deer hunting

[uncoolperson]

While wandering around today looking for something I came up with this list.


The things I've learned while failing at deer hunting

1) scout, may feel like an idiot wandering around looking for animals you hope to shoot at in a few months... but it's better than wandering around in a few months trying to find
animals

2) rain sucks, well really rain sucks when... actually no rain sucks

3) pack a good lunch... a good lunch in crucial to keeping the energy going. Leaving it in your fridge isn't as good as bringing it with you.

4) deer are a lot like girls in high school (or atleast for me), as soon as they know you've entered the room they run off.... (future idea: gotta find a way to get them drunk)

5) water proof rarely means water proof, almost always means about as good as cotton.

6) 4x4, tires, and knowing what your driving through all important... a 4x4 down some narrow ass road/trail/foot path when slippery (see #2) and with tires that would be better likened to racing slicks is bad... especially when you don't know where you are (see #1)

7) wandering into the middle of a clearcut and waiting might seem like a good idea... sit and wait, then wait some more (or so I'm told... don't listen to my advice on finding deer, I'm better at not). However, leaving all flashlights in the truck (along with lunch if it's not in the fridge at home) can be a bad idea if you wait until dark.

8) deer live on highways and in people's backyards, not in forests... evolution and all that.

9) I'm not in as good of shape as I thought I was, and I give up a lot faster without someone there pushing me to go further.

10) a bar at the entrance of a fs road is a plus after a long day of failing to find anything living

11) after about 6 hours wandering around by yourself your mind plays tricks on you... that shh shh shh sound... yeah that's your pants not bigfoot tracking you.

12) being scoped isn't cool... really it isn't cool, I think i might start bringing an extra set or two of $20 binocs to hand out to every *censored* that scopes me next time. (worse when after scoping you, they remove the bullet from the chamber... come on I'm wearing orange, what deer do you know that are orange color... there are no orange tail in washington!)

13) squirels can sound a lot like a drunk deer(see #4) running through the forest... just squirels playing tricks on you though.

14) spokane may look like a desert, but in october it's cold as hell

15) 1:30 am is early, or late.... but it's not a good time to go through the mental checklist and make sure you packed everything (see #3).

16) 1:30am is early... really ***** early

17) telling friends and co-workers you're deer hunting basically makes you the knower of everything deer... and sets you up for "hey I almost hit a deer...ohhh, you can't shoot them downtown, dang too bad it was a [4 point]"

18) spokane has no deer, that place 2 hours north has no deer (angry chipmunks though), vail tree farm has 2 doe... downtown bellingham about a trillion deer.

19) birds and rabbit can scare the living crap out of you... if waking up at 1:30 hurts and is still lingering when the sun comes up (6 damn hours later!), walking up on a grouse or rabbit will get that heart going.

20) road hunters talk too much, real hunters are angry because you're talking at all...

21) wife's can get troublesome when almost avoiding them a couple of weekends and a bunch of afternoons in a row.

22) getting bored and counting rings on a tree is really more frustrating that boredom solving.

23) I must have ADD or something, that damn zipper on my orange vest is too much fun when sitting around doing nothing.

24) there is a limit to using that smoke in a bottle wind direction finding stuff... constantly is a sign that you've reached it. Next time bring a board game if you're that bored.

25) the lens caps for binoculars are there for a reason... keep track of them (see #2)

26) work sucks, there is nothing quite as bad as going to work to earn money to buy food because it's more productive than pretending to go hunting.

27) when you have your outdoorsy buddhist vegan brother helping you find a deer you've reached a new low (he really wanted me to finally find my deer so offered to help out... vegan for the health stuff, all about squishin bugs)

28) I CAN'T HUNT... deer 5, andy 0 (counting general and late as seperate)



anyone willing to help westside for the late season?

[swanny]

Wow, tough times. But I'm in the same boat as you and feel your pain on a lot of those, especially the deer in B-ham...

Going to try the late hunt, have Monday off to go scout an area out.

Exactly how long did it take you to come up with this list? And did you do it in the field or the bar at the end of the Forest road?

[uncoolperson]

Wow, tough times. But I'm in the same boat as you and feel your pain on a lot of those, especially the deer in B-ham...

Going to try the late hunt, have Monday off to go scout an area out.

Exactly how long did it take you to come up with this list? And did you do it in the field or the bar at the end of the Forest road?

in the field after giving up on counting rings on a stump

[billythekidrock]

Exactly how long did it take you to come up with this list? And did you do it in the field or the bar at the end of the Forest road?

 

[jackelope]

i didn't shoot a deer this year, but i had fun and saw lots of new country.

if you had fun, it was not  a failure.
your list is funny as hell though.

[bankwalker]

While wandering around today looking for something I came up with this list.


The things I've learned while failing at deer hunting

1) scout, may feel like an idiot wandering around looking for animals you hope to shoot at in a few months... but it's better than wandering around in a few months trying to find
animals

2) rain sucks, well really rain sucks when... actually no rain sucks

3) pack a good lunch... a good lunch in crucial to keeping the energy going. Leaving it in your fridge isn't as good as bringing it with you.

4) deer are a lot like girls in high school (or atleast for me), as soon as they know you've entered the room they run off.... (future idea: gotta find a way to get them drunk)

5) water proof rarely means water proof, almost always means about as good as cotton.

6) 4x4, tires, and knowing what your driving through all important... a 4x4 down some narrow ass road/trail/foot path when slippery (see #2) and with tires that would be better likened to racing slicks is bad... especially when you don't know where you are (see #1)

7) wandering into the middle of a clearcut and waiting might seem like a good idea... sit and wait, then wait some more (or so I'm told... don't listen to my advice on finding deer, I'm better at not). However, leaving all flashlights in the truck (along with lunch if it's not in the fridge at home) can be a bad idea if you wait until dark.

deer live on highways and in people's backyards, not in forests... evolution and all that.

9) I'm not in as good of shape as I thought I was, and I give up a lot faster without someone there pushing me to go further.

10) a bar at the entrance of a fs road is a plus after a long day of failing to find anything living

11) after about 6 hours wandering around by yourself your mind plays tricks on you... that shh shh shh sound... yeah that's your pants not bigfoot tracking you.

12) being scoped isn't cool... really it isn't cool, I think i might start bringing an extra set or two of $20 binocs to hand out to every *censored* that scopes me next time. (worse when after scoping you, they remove the bullet from the chamber... come on I'm wearing orange, what deer do you know that are orange color... there are no orange tail in washington!)

13) squirels can sound a lot like a drunk deer(see #4) running through the forest... just squirels playing tricks on you though.

14) spokane may look like a desert, but in october it's cold as hell

15) 1:30 am is early, or late.... but it's not a good time to go through the mental checklist and make sure you packed everything (see #3).

16) 1:30am is early... really ***** early

17) telling friends and co-workers you're deer hunting basically makes you the knower of everything deer... and sets you up for "hey I almost hit a deer...ohhh, you can't shoot them downtown, dang too bad it was a [4 point]"

18) spokane has no deer, that place 2 hours north has no deer (angry chipmunks though), vail tree farm has 2 doe... downtown bellingham about a trillion deer.

19) birds and rabbit can scare the living crap out of you... if waking up at 1:30 hurts and is still lingering when the sun comes up (6 damn hours later!), walking up on a grouse or rabbit will get that heart going.

20) road hunters talk too much, real hunters are angry because you're talking at all...

21) wife's can get troublesome when almost avoiding them a couple of weekends and a bunch of afternoons in a row.

22) getting bored and counting rings on a tree is really more frustrating that boredom solving.

23) I must have ADD or something, that damn zipper on my orange vest is too much fun when sitting around doing nothing.

24) there is a limit to using that smoke in a bottle wind direction finding stuff... constantly is a sign that you've reached it. Next time bring a board game if you're that bored.

25) the lens caps for binoculars are there for a reason... keep track of them (see #2)

26) work sucks, there is nothing quite as bad as going to work to earn money to buy food because it's more productive than pretending to go hunting.

27) when you have your outdoorsy buddhist vegan brother helping you find a deer you've reached a new low (he really wanted me to finally find my deer so offered to help out... vegan for the health stuff, all about squishin bugs)

28) I CAN'T HUNT... deer 5, andy 0 (counting general and late as seperate)



anyone willing to help westside for the late season?

lol andy that was great.

you need to come back down for the late hunt. it was fun hunting with you to bad we only seen those 2 does.

[uncoolperson]

addition: (sorry i keep remembering stuff i came up with up there, probably be a couple more)

29) walking 500 yards up hill to find a good spot to sit in a clear cut only to find a road 10 feet from that spot is not fun (see #1)

[Dmanmastertracker]

 Holy *censored* that's funny......

[bankwalker]

addition: (sorry i keep remembering stuff i came up with up there, probably be a couple more)

29) walking 500 yards up hill to find a good spot to sit in a clear cut only to find a road 10 feet from that spot is not fun (see #1)

  i walked 5 miles in at a locked gate only to find out they opened it up everyday at 6am...i got there at 5:30am 

[Michelle_Nelson]

   Ohhhh I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.  Choked 3 times on my water reading through your list. 

[ekim0517]

  im right there with you Deer 10 mike 0

[fishseeker]

Boy can I relate to that list! That is helltofunny

[Slider]

 

[uncoolperson]

27) when you have your outdoorsy buddhist vegan brother helping you find a deer you've reached a new low (he really wanted me to finally find my deer so offered to help out... vegan for the health stuff, all about squishin bugs)

I should mention my brother kinda breaks the molds he puts himself into.

master mechanic, who rides a bike and doesn't own a car.
basically lives at his the coffee shop his girlfriend owns (in bellingham, super liberal mecca), but makes fun of the same crazies
joins me for chase down critical mass bike riders and yell at them on my PA day
wanted to grab my rifle and shoot the squirrel that was making a racket
while fighting off a hangover and eating some vegan lunch egged me on with "run that bird over!"
woke me up at 4am (well he stayed up so he wouldn't over sleep) with "hey dude lets go shoot somethin"

he's a cool brother like that.

[Michelle_Nelson]

27) when you have your outdoorsy buddhist vegan brother helping you find a deer you've reached a new low (he really wanted me to finally find my deer so offered to help out... vegan for the health stuff, all about squishin bugs)

I should mention my brother kinda breaks the molds he puts himself into.

master mechanic, who rides a bike and doesn't own a car.
basically lives at his the coffee shop his girlfriend owns (in bellingham, super liberal mecca), but makes fun of the same crazies
joins me for chase down critical mass bike riders and yell at them on my PA day
wanted to grab my rifle and shoot the squirrel that was making a racket
while fighting off a hangover and eating some vegan lunch egged me on with "run that bird over!"
woke me up at 4am (well he stayed up so he wouldn't over sleep) with "hey dude lets go shoot somethin"

he's a cool brother like that.