My first whitetail hunt

[Mr Mykiss]

I'm headed north in 10 days for my first whitetail hunt. I have never truly targeted the whitetailed deer (Odocoileus virginianus) so I have made a short list of what I will need for this hunt based on what I have seen on television in regards to whitetail hunting but if there is something I've left out please let me know. Here's the first draft of my Basic Whitetail Necessities list:
- 11 remotely operated and networked trailcameras so I can name all my "hit list" bucks
- 17 food plots
- 9 automatic feeders
- 8 treestand locations with 2 stands each (for me and my cameraman)
- 8 "ozone" thingies to blow my scent upwards
- 13 mock scrapes with scent drippers at each one
- a rattlin bag
- 4 different kinds of grunt tubes and snort-wheeze thingies
- a guide to whom I'll refer as "My good friend so and so"
- landowners to provide me with breakfast and coffee each morning at 4am so we can get some giggly "pre hunt" footage
- sheds and pictures from last year of this years hit list front runner "Old ____ity ____" (gonna be tough at this point)
- an ATV to ride 800 yds from the landowners house to my stand of choice for that day (wind dependent)
- I know that I will need roughly two dozen sponsors and I'm currently in talks with an electrical supply company and hoping they will donate 18 D batteries for my trailcameras

[combs338]

I think you nailed it , you should be golden. 

[The100Road]

Remember........... If its raining, you dont hunt. just go ahead and sleep in.

[DeArBuCK4me]

Why go through all the money and hassle just bring your fiance and hunt is over...

[deerhunter_98520]

Dude your numbers and a little low 

Also ATVs are last year....everyone has gators/razrs now...and don't forget your heater body suit...it my be cold

[Boss .300 winmag]

you forgot world class "CHEF" to cook up your deer. 

[WSU]

You will also need the following:

1.  2014 weapon of your choice.
2.  3 or 4 bottles of scent killer and scent killer plastic bags to put your clothing in.
3.  3 or 4 bottles each of various doe urine scents
4.  2014 camo of your choice
5.  2014 underarmor
6.  2014 pickup
7.  2014 GPS mapping system for your 2014 pickup in order to find your hunting area.
8.  2014 truck bed storage system to haul all your other crap while allowing your ATV to be driven on top of said storage system.
9.  Butt-out tool.

[MTMule]

You will soon need names for all the bucks you find on those trail cameras.

[Buckmark]

Better get to work on your "thank you" speach listing every single sponser etc...that alone takes 5minutes to say.

[novice870]

I laughed out loud at the "giggly pre hunt footage"...so true. 

[PolarBear]

It sounds like you have the typical NE WA hunter down.
If you want to be even more tv ready you will also need a smokin' hot wife who kills a buck almost as big as yours on the other side of the food plot/bait pile, then both of you will have to wait until the morning to find your near matching bucks because you thought that it would be best to "give them some time" to expire.  In the morning you, along with a dozen farm hands will find your bucks half eaten by coyotes only 30 yards from where you shot them.   Then. it is off to the farmer's house for another 5 star meal while the farm hands gut, skin and process your deer.  After you fill you gullets then it is time to sit around the fire talking about what a "tough hunt" that was while looking through hundreds of trail cam pics and videos of the bucks that you just shot and those you "left for next year". 

[JLS]

It sounds like you have the typical NE WA hunter down.
If you want to be even more tv ready you will also need a smokin' hot wife who kills a buck almost as big as yours on the other side of the food plot/bait pile, then both of you will have to wait until the morning to find your near matching bucks because you thought that it would be best to "give them some time" to expire.  In the morning you, along with a dozen farm hands will find your bucks half eaten by coyotes only 30 yards from where you shot them.   Then. it is off to the farmer's house for another 5 star meal while the farm hands gut, skin and process your deer.  After you fill you gullets then it is time to sit around the fire talking about what a "tough hunt" that was while looking through hundreds of trail cam pics and videos of the bucks that you just shot and those you "left for next year". 

 

Sadly, this seems to be the norm.

[NOCK NOCK]

You will also need the following:

1.  2014 weapon of your choice.
2.  3 or 4 bottles of scent killer and scent killer plastic bags to put your clothing in.
3.  3 or 4 bottles each of various doe urine scents
4.  2014 camo of your choice
5.  2014 underarmor
6.  2014 pickup
7.  2014 GPS mapping system for your 2014 pickup in order to find your hunting area.
8.  2014 truck bed storage system to haul all your other crap while allowing your ATV to be driven on top of said storage system.
9.  Butt-out tool.

#9   

[DeerThug]

exactly and what gets me is on these shows when they are bragging about their hard earned bucks that cost them thousands and I compare it to what me and my buddies get for a little hard work and old fashioned hunting - it makes me laugh as most of what we get are equal or bigger than what is on tv.   world is going the wrong way

[Mr Mykiss]

Getting some things crossed off my list...

[Wanttohuntmore]

If you are lucky enough to get one during the day, don't get close to it for pictures until well after sunset. :-)

[KFhunter]

babahha

someone been watching too much hunting shows 


I'm currently paying that extra 4 dollars/month to get myself educated on how to get er done.  This thread will help a ton 

[Ridgeratt]

You also forgot the 2 Go-pro cameras one bolted to your chest to see what you see and the one on the weapon to catch facial expressions. All the latest state of the art scent blocker clothes with Hang tags!! A scope able to make a shot into the next county.

[KFhunter]

oh yup yup

go pro on a stick, even better 

[Ridgeratt]

  The Butt out tool just seems so WRONG!!!   

[MuleySniper]

I was like WTF when I started reading this this morning before I had any coffee. After about the third line I caught on and cracked up. Soooo true for tv standards!!

[CAMPMEAT]

.......................and most importantly, your cell phone, so you can call your buddies and tell them how hard it was to kill a " 10 pointer " on the
Scrub Brush Ranch in Texass and then call the guide to come and getcha............

[jnevs23]

your going to want to make sure your "stand" has double pane vinyl windows.  It can get cold in your studio apartment, excuse me, your stand with a cheap window.  Also don't be affraid to help all us other hunters out  take a cull buck.  Nothing I hate more than seeing bucks that will never grow bigger than 150 class out there ruining the gene pool.

[huntnnw]

You have all made this much to difficult...everyone knows you just drive around all day and fling arrows at deer

[Redbeard]

Did you practice your 30 second fist pump followed by a quick mention of religion?  Also after you gutshoot the deer,  keep the camera angles just short of the bad shot.

[deerhunter_98520]

What about the camo recliner for the tree house blind...got to be comfy

[lewy]

And a good set of ear plugs, because your smoking hot wife's voice is almost as annoying as  preset #7 on your fox pro

[Ripper]

Did I just miss it or did he forget his 800 lbs of Come ere deer for his 1/4 acre bait pile!

[RadSav]

Also make sure you have no brand loyalty on anything.  Whomever pays you money makes the best product on the planet - no discussion!  You may have to chose between Hoyt, Mathews and CVA as often they don't like you cashing too many checks on one hunt.  And remember...no matter whether the camera shows a bullet hitting your deer in the head at long range or your arrow hitting the hams it doesn't matter.  It was a perfect shot through the boiler room with your sponsors product.  Video cameras can be misleading about that.  It looked like a head shot, but it really was a perfect Powerbelt/Rage/Berger placement from your CVA/Hoyt/Mathews/Thompson.  Just ask the good looking blonde how awesome the shot was and everyone will forget you gut shot it.

Oh and don't forget nobody wants to see you enjoy yourself always.  You will need to make up some sort of confrontation with someone.  A son or daughter would be best, but spouses and land owners will do in a pinch.  The more stupid the disagreement the better. Leave the common sense at home. No one wants to watch that.  And if you can be a complete dumb arse and take some time off from hunting to look for gold...you've got a prime time spot ahead of you. 

[Mr Mykiss]

We had quite a bit of progress in the past week. Invested in some deer bait, hung cameras, put out bait piles and got my first sponsorship (had to buy the batteries and I think they were giving away free hats that day anyway). I felt awkward carrying those 50# bags o' deer bait uphill...pretty sure that I was supposed to be using my gator, electric UTV, "side by side utility vehicle" or my new 2014 Ford F-whatever 10-buck killin edition to carry em but I used a pack frame like the rookie I am. Also I was supposed to have automatic feeders, didn't get them (couldn't find sponsorship) and I think there were too many trees for my wireless trailcamera system to transmit pictures 150 miles, could be that I didn't hook up the transmitters or that I don't have any wireless capable cameras. At the end of the weekend I got 4 cameras out and 3 bait piles I've been told by the landowner that in two of the spots I'll "kill a trophy for sure". Now I just have to practice my shooting at ranges of 30-40' because it appears that's about as long a shot as I'll have in the moose jungle that is unit 121!!

[deerhunter_98520]

Don't you need more cams there to get every angle of those monster trophy whitetails so you don't shoot that 160" "dink" that has to grow up to maturity? Are you saving the bags and bags of c'mere deer for the day you go out? Shake it and they will come running!

[jnevs23]

Almost forgot, after the shot be sure to head back to "camp" and review the shot 80-100 times with at least 5 buddies. 

[Mr Mykiss]

Working on my "Smoked him!!!!!!!"

[Emptyhanded]

Do not leave home with out your outdoor edge swingblade and your wildgame processing pack complete with rubber gloves and ribcage spreader.



Sent from my 300 WSM