Outfitters, I would like to hear your horror stories!

[Alchase]

We get a lot of threads about Outfitters and rightly so because there are few places (in Washington) where outfitters can be reviewed or experiences compared.

I would like to hear from the Outfitters themselves.
Stories about the people who have been total deuchwaffles, in seriously bad condition, poor shots, and even just plain jerks. I know you guys must have a surplus of these types you have dealt with over the years.

I have seen some on Hunting shows, where you know the outfitter had to hand deliver any chance of a shot on a critter, because after a couple minutes the hunter was huffing and weezing, or missed a broadside shot at minimal range.

I am a horrible horse rider. So if I was to hire a guide, and I ran into a yellow jacket or two, you would see a rodeo where the rider would take the least path of resistance and bail do to self preservation ................. 

You must see many that could not ride the horse they paid for, and the cowboy action that followed.

If you need to change it up a bit so not to "call out" a paying customer, just call them
"Bob with a manbun, shooting a 6.5 CM",
and we will totally understand. 

 

[deerlick]

Drop camp gone wrong/ non guided. We werent able to go where we were suppose to the morning of our pack in because the outfitter had friends in the area and wouldnt put us there. Ended up in deep dark hole far away from alpine back country we had our trip planned for. Arriving a day before season we were told sometimes season opens early if you you know what I mean. Ended up walking out after a week to call and get our stuff picked up before we ran out of season. Ended up hunting out of the wilderness and filled the tag but sure does suck when your trip is screwed up by a outfiitter that decides drinking real late and not being on time for anything and changing your plans last minute  is ok.

[KFhunter]

Why would an outfitter come on here and bash clients? 

[2MANY]

Dave and NWhunter in the Blues are examples of a good operation.

[Alchase]

Why would an outfitter come on here and bash clients? 

Because it would make great stories, just kidding.
That is why I said use a little creative license and the alias provided.

"If you need to change it up a bit so not to "call out" a paying customer, just call them
"Bob with a manbun, shooting a 6.5 CM",
and we will totally understand.  "

[theleo]

Why would an outfitter come on here and bash clients? 

Because it would make great stories, just kidding.
That is why I said use a little creative license and the alias provided.

"If you need to change it up a bit so not to "call out" a paying customer, just call them
"Bob with a manbun, shooting a 6.5 CM",
and we will totally understand.  "

I highly doubt you'll get many stories on a public forum. These kinds of stories are usually reserved for in camp or possibly a bar after a couple of beers. It's just bad form to complain about dudes when they are the ones that pay your bills.

[STIKNSTRINGBOW]

When I thought I was going to start my business I had decided not to take hunters from Washington to prevent them from just hunting my spots on their own after their trip.
I had a lot of interest, but the only one to follow through was a guy we'll just call "C".
.
C. and I had many conversations prior to his trip out.
.
I told him we would be hiking logging roads behind closed gates several miles to our hunting areas.
Chances were pretty good we would be taking midday breaks to wait for wind/thermal changes and eat lunch.
He admitted he was not in the best of shape, but could hike a fair distance and would be working on improving during the summer.
.
Car camping and driving to different areas for the day, hunting for any legal animal, public access land.
.
He arrived early and I showed him the camp, fixed a lunch and we spent a little time talking.
He brought out a box of wine and poured a glass while I had a beer.
Because of no fire regulations, and it only being 2 of us, I suggested an afternoon walk.
.
We drove to one of the gates I like and proceeded to stretch our legs.
We had only gone about a half mile at a comfortable stroll when a nice bull walked out into the road ahead of us.
I suggested we back out to avoid disturbing the herd now that we knew they were definitely in the area.
We head back to camp and get ready to hit the gate first thing in the morning.
.
That's when he broke out the 1/2 gallon..
.
I had a couple drinks with him and we ate dinner, then I told him I was going to hit the rack, morning came early.
I woke up in the middle of the night a few times because C. was snoring very loud.
The alarm clock finally told me it was time to get rolling, so I got up and fixed a pot of coffee, heated the griddle and tried to wake C.
Eventually got him to come out of his tent and handed him a cup and plate.
He promptly poured a shot in his coffee from the half empty bottle and had his breakfast.
.
I urged him to hurry, as I wanted to be at the gate before daylight, and (hopefully) any other hunters.
He complained about not getting any sleep because he did not have his C-pap machine, and was feeling a little poorly.
We got to the gate, and had the place to ourselves

We began our walk in with high hopes.
Walking in to where we had seen the bull the day before, I elected to stop and listen for a while and wait until we could see.
There were plenty of tracks and fresh droppings, so we walked the road to the next spur that went off in the direction they had traveled.
We walked slowly along the spur, looking for more fresh sign and found where they had crossed and dropped down into the creek bottom.
.
I asked him if he was ready, and he looked at me in confusion.
I explained that we were going to follow the trail down, and his look changed to bewilderment.
He said "there is no way we can sneak through that!"
I informed him that we were not going to sneak, we were going to have to just follow the trail until we found more fresh sign, then set up and try some calling.
I finally convinced him to leave the road and come with me.
When we hit the creek bed we found an extensive network of easy walking trails, lots of fresh rubs and good sign.
Finding a nice spot with clear shooting lanes, I placed him along one of the bigger trails and backed off about 30 yards.
I waited a little while then began a quiet cow/calf sequence..
Wind was right, no hurry...
After a little while I took it up a notch with some louder lost calf, and cow responses.
Then waited a little while.
.
Not getting a response being subtle, I decided to throw out a location bugle.
.
Immediately I got a lot of commotion from the direction of C. ...
Then he comes hotfooting it towards me.
.
Seems he had dozed off until my bugle, and it "scared" him.
He said he was not feeling very good, and how much longer until we went back to camp for lunch?
I tried to explain lunch was in my pack and we had just started, but he insisted that he did not feel well because he did not get much sleep without his C-pap, and wanted to return to camp.
Because he was a paying client, I reluctantly agreed to return to camp, but wanted to come back early afternoon.
Once we were at camp, I began preparing a hot lunch while C. went back to work finishing off his 1/2 gallon.
After lunch he went into his tent for a nap while I messed around near camp.
Around 2 I decided to interrupt the loud snoring, and eventually got C. to emerge from his tent.
He again complained about not getting enough sleep (despite the sounds of sleeping I heard) and said he was not sure if he was up to heading back to that place.
.
I tried to hide my disappointment and suggested a shorter walk near camp.
We did manage to see a lone cow, but could not get close enough for a shot.
C. commented about how that was much more like he had imagined, an easy elk near camp, uphill from a road.
I explained that it was unlikely we would be that lucky, but it was his money so I would try to figure out something a little closer to the road.
He said that going back where we started would be fine, but wanted to stay out of that "thick stuff".
He was used to hunting a few hours in the morning, then having a "he man" breakfast before taking a nap, then lunch before the evening hunt.
He had assumed that's what I meant by a "midday break"
That's how his outfitted deer hunts had been.
The rest of the week was pretty much the same, he polished off a lot of whiskey, complained about not getting enough sleep because he did not have his C-pap, and we walked logging roads.
We did get to see a few elk, but were busted long before we were in range.
I discovered that a few miles in, then out was all I could get out of him and most of the "easy" gates had other hunters.
There also was other trucks showing up at our first gate so we spent more time driving around than I would have liked.
He was a decent enough fellow, but was more interested in hanging around camp drinking than actually spending any time in the woods.
He had watched videos without thinking about how much was edited between the action sequences.
He had based his expectations on his whitetail hunting experiences, and thought we would see more animals, not realizing the size and scope of the area or the distances required to locate them.
I had included wording in my description explaining the difficulties, and that there were no guarantees of success.
But I HAD painted a pretty picture of elk hunting in my desire to attract clients.

I seriously reconsidered my idea of a guide business, but decided to be a little more explicit in my description on what to expect.
Long ALL DAY hunts with sack lunches and little sleep was going to be stressed.
Worse case scenarios about the brush, and emphasize about the terrain being steep.

.
My dreams of making a living as an outfitter/guide have ended, I just don't have the time or resources to commit to actually generating an income that would support my family.
I did learn a lot from the few clients I did get in the 3 years I tried, and did have a couple satisfied customers.
But you never forget your first.

[Rainier10]

Maybe @bearpaw will come on here and air out his story about "Adams11" and his buddies that booked a cougar hunt.  What a bunch of jokers those guys were. 

[gasman]

I received a book from the North American Hunting Club years ago that was all stories from outfitters,  had some great stories, my favorite was one about a email client putting lipstick on a bull elk she shot...... don't remember all the details but LMAO after reading it......

[elkrack]

There’s no way I could even think about guiding! Dealing with lack of common sense is not my specialty! C sounds like a real go getter hunter

[KFhunter]

I received a book from the North American Hunting Club years ago that was all stories from outfitters,  had some great stories, my favorite was one about a email client putting lipstick on a bull elk she shot...... don't remember all the details but LMAO after reading it......

That would be a good read    I can see stories coming out so long as the outfitter went unamed.


So speaking to that:


If an outfitter wants to PM me a story I'll re-post it for them and no one will ever know who it came from. 

[Alchase]

Stiknstringbow, great story thanks for sharing!

[Gentrys]

Took my son on a fully guided hunt in Oregon a few years back.  There were 3 other hunters in camp.  One of the guides got stuck with this "hunter" that kept droping his rifle.  By the second day, this guy had dropped his gun 3 times.  So for the next 3 days, the guide carried his client's gun for him which I think was pretty easy because the guy couldn't handle more than about a mile of hiking a day before being totally exhausted and ready to head back to camp.  It was a long 5 days for the guide.

[steeleywhopper]

I went on a Moose hunt in B.C. with my Grandfather back in 2000 and it was slow going to say the least, we never saw a moose except this one. On the second to the last day we were driving back to camp after hunting all day and a monster bull walks out and stands in the road in front of us. Mind you this is at least 1/2 hour after dark and its in the headlights. The guide slams on the brakes and yells at me to get out and shoot it. I looked at him and said are your F-ing nuts, there is no way I'm shooting a bull in the headlights I don't care how far out in BFE we are. He was pissed and so was I.  We never went with that outfitter again.

[bearpaw]

Maybe @bearpaw will come on here and air out his story about "Adams11" and his buddies that booked a cougar hunt.  What a bunch of jokers those guys were. 

I could write a book of humorous short stories but it seems like it would be unprofessional to embarrass anyone publicly. A lot of that stuff should probably be unspoken, sort of a hunter/guide privilege, if you will!

I've had some of my own escapades that qualify too! 

[dc]

Maybe @bearpaw will come on here and air out his story about "Adams11" and his buddies that booked a cougar hunt.  What a bunch of jokers those guys were. 

I could write a book of humorous short stories but it seems like it would be unprofessional to embarrass anyone publicly. A lot of that stuff should probably be unspoken, sort of a hunter/guide privilege, if you will!

I've had some of my own escapades that qualify too! 

That is very classy of you good sir. 

[dilleytech]

I listened to some Wyoming deer guides talking about there clients this fall. It’s very inertaining. Mostly stories about 2,000$ self targeting scopes that don’t work. There least favorite calibers. And guys that insist on shooting a “4x4” or nothing. So some guys will pass on a 180” 3 point to shoot a 130” 4 point.

[Okanagan]

I could write a book of humorous short stories but it seems like it would be unprofessional to embarrass anyone publicly. A lot of that stuff should probably be unspoken, sort of a hunter/guide privilege, if you will!

I've had some of my own escapades that qualify too! 

Interesting reply!

I've been fortunate to hang out with several outfitters and guides, some as friends.  Without exception, they have never told me a bad story about a client.  They have told me some funny stuff, some impressively good things about clients, one story about a lazy client, but nothing I'd class as bad.  The one time I pressed an outfitter friend to tell me some of his stories of bad clients, he finally told me about a fellow who was so lucky that he didn't really appreciate what a phenomenal hunt he'd had.  Apparently there is some sort of guide/client privilege among good guides!

A long time fishing guide friend who has made lifelong friends among a number of clients, told me that the key was to figure out what the client wanted and give that to him.  If he likes to sleep in, have a fine breakfast, maybe a nice boat ride on calm water and be back to the dock for lunch:  do it.  That is what he's paying for.  If the guy is a hard core fisherman who wants big fish, have him on the water at the right tide and place before daylight, and stay out as long as you can, rain or shine. 

[WSU]

A long time fishing guide friend who has made lifelong friends among a number of clients, told me that the key was to figure out what the client wanted and give that to him.  If he likes to sleep in, have a fine breakfast, maybe a nice boat ride on calm water and be back to the dock for lunch:  do it.  That is what he's paying for.  If the guy is a hard core fisherman who wants big fish, have him on the water at the right tide and place before daylight, and stay out as long as you can, rain or shine.

That's the key right there.  Lots of people can catch fish.  Not a lot of people can make sure everyone has a fun day every time out or can get along with most anyone.

[Okanagan]

Since I'm pontificating this morning, here is another:  A wilderness resort owner at a place that drew the wealthy and the highest national politicians in our land, once told me that they say that they want a real wilderness experience.  They are all lying.  He was smiling as he said that, and probably not all are lying, but most of them want premium creature comforts where they can look out a window at wilderness.

[theleo]

I could write a book of humorous short stories but it seems like it would be unprofessional to embarrass anyone publicly. A lot of that stuff should probably be unspoken, sort of a hunter/guide privilege, if you will!

I've had some of my own escapades that qualify too! 

How about some stories of guys fresh out of guide or packing school and their introductions to the reality of being a guide or packer?

[CoryTDF]

I always like when you go out on a fishing trip and half the guys get sea sick and then complain about it to the guide like he had some control over it  . I find that by in larger people typically overestimate and exaggerate their true abilities and then try to find somebody to blame other than themselves. 

I have never used a guide service for hunting and unless I hit some lottery I probably never will. What I do know is that I hunt harder than many of the guides that I know and if I paid a guy to take me out he better be every bit, and hopefully more capable, than I am. People need to understand that hunting is hunting and killing is killing they are not the same thing. If you want a killing trip hire a guide for a small high fence area. If you want a hunt with the chance of a kill go with a wilderness guide. That is my 

If my life dream comes true and I am able to go on a Yukon moose hunt I will likely have a guide and i'll make darn sure to do my homework before I spend a dollar.   

[Stein]

I was on an AK 6-pack hali trip a while back, it was a side-trip on a business trip so I was added with 5 other random dudes including "Frenchy".  That's what the guide called him because he was obviously from France (clever guide).  Said guide was a very large individual and had a deck hand that was probably 115 soaking wet to round out the crew.

Deck hand's job on the run out was to keep inserting a rolled up bath towel into the scissor portion of the air ride chair because the captain would bottom it out every time we hit a wave - I was sure he was going to lose a hand, but this wasn't his first rodeo.  Captain didn't budge of the chair the entire trip.  On the way out, I asked him what he does during the long winters up there and his answer was "drink."  He smoked about 500 cigarettes that day, lighting one off the other the entire time.

Well, he knew how to find the fish and we once the tide changed we were quickly on a nice pile of good sized fish up to 120# - except Frenchy.  Every time he would hit bottom he would think he had a bite and reel up 300' very slowly, sometimes upside down and backwards.  After the 3rd or 4th time, captain says "Frenchy, if you reel that in one more time I will throw your *ss overboard."

30 seconds later.....  but Frenchy says he had one that just got off right at the boat.

We get our limit, captain's limit, deck hand's limit and Frenchy finally manages to hook one.  I end up reeling in Frenchy's #2.

On the way back, Frenchy and his buddy keep going from one side of the boat to the other and Captain has to keep working the trim tabs to keep the boat semi-level.  Finally, he stops the boat and says something I shouldn't repeat here.

Back at the beach, Frenchy almost gets in a fight trying to take one of my fish which is roughly twice the size as the one he actually caught.  Deck hand suggests Frenchy take his fish and leave before captain gets back and sends him to the hospital.  Deck hand then loads the smallest two fish whole into a garbage bag and throws it into the back seat of his rental car and Frenchy pouts out of there.

[Alchase]

When my Dad and I would book salmon trips from Ilwaco, Westport  or Ocean Shores (when they had charters) we always hooked up with the smaller 6 or 12 man charters. One 12 man charter out of Westport, we were the only ones not chumming. The 10 others squeezed inside thinking they would not get as sick. We got to catch the limits, and got pick of the fish. 

[pianoman9701]

Some years ago, I was guiding a father and son team in the mountainous state of New Hampshire. They were keen on trophy red squirrel hunting and I was the guide to do it. We spoke a few times on the phone in preparation and I received their 50% deposit of $35 dollars and a 1/2 lb of beef jerky. As you may know, NH has vast wilderness areas and mountains so tall, they take 1-2 hours to climb, some reaching over 4K feet!!! I know, Everest-like, right? So, they arrive in camp on the first day and these two are real greenhorns; wearing dungarees (East coast lingo for jeans), sneakers, and one even had on a Yankees T-shirt (WT#, Yankees in in NH?). Being the professional guide that I was at the time, I set the example by wearing my Lowa boots, $1500 worth of Sitka gear (That's one shirt and a hat), and of course a full Ghillie suit, a camo covered Custom-made Bang Bros .22, with a Leupold 6-24x80 Star Gazer scope. I was ready to do violence on some red squirrels. They were ready for second breakfast and a nap. I knew this would be challenging. We set out on our adventure down a long logging road. It was late summer and even though the black flies had gone, the state bird of NH, the mosquito, was everywhere. We'd been hiking along for a long, long time, likely at least 300 yards from camp. I was starting to feel it in my calves but I had a lot left to go. The kid kept whining "The bugs are biting" and "my left sneaker is untied" and "I have swamp butt". Dad was plum tuckered out and didn't say much, until...we saw the rust-colored flash of our quarry high up in a tree.  Little Davy asks his dad if he can take the shot, but his father was already sighting in on the beast - what a jerk! He took careful aim but then, started to shake slightly. The shaking increased and a drop of drool appeared, sliding down to his chin. He pulled the trigger. Once, twice, four, five, ten, times. He had it bad; squirrel fever. I'd seen this before and it aint pretty. I calmly took the Ruger from his now sweaty and uncontrollably shaking hands, and gave it to the boy. "Davy", I said, "I want you to aim right over the leg. We're going for a heart shot." He brought the gun up slowly, never taking his eyes off the squirrel (that had stopped running after dad's third shot and just sat there chattering at us). There was a slight breeze, but other than the muffled rustling of leaves and that damned chattering, there was no sound. The lad took aim, finger on the trigger, squeezed slowly, and bang! The damn chattering continued. The boy cried. The father scoffed. I raised my tool of destruction (I'm talking about the gun, you perv), and aimed carefully. But at the last moment, just before I sent that terrifying rodent to certain oblivion, I noticed the spec on his butt. You know what it was. It was a tick on the squirrel's but at a hundred yards. Challenge accepted! I boosted it up to 16 power, took careful aim, and blasted that tick to Kingdom Come. There was total awe and wonderment on the faces of my charges. They knew what they'd just witnessed. But now we had a problem: no squirrels and dad and son were plum tuckered out and unable to walk another step, save alone the 300 steps back to camp. I had to get the meat cart. I trudged back to camp. It took like what seemed hours in that 80 degree heat on that grueling trail. I grabbed the meat cart (so far, unblooded by squirrel juice) and returned to the two weary hunters. "Get your butts in the cart", I said disgustedly. Davy whimpered quietly as his dad stretched out for the long ride back. It took everything I had but I knew my responsibility to these two. I pushed them back to camp. When we arrived back, Davy wanted to know where to plug in his IPhone. His dad wanted a martini. It was 1130 in the morning, for crying out loud! I'd had it. "Get in the &^%^ *&%$ car!. I'm taking you home." Stunned, staring at me with their mouths agape, they loaded into the car, never taking their eyes off of me. When we got to their home, 15 minutes later, they almost fell over each other getting out. "I'll not pay you a dime more nor more jerky will you get, you bas#^&%!!!" Well, good riddance. And that was the end of my guiding career.

[gasman]

That is freaking hilariously Plan 

[RockChuck]

Lmao!! 

[Alchase]

P-man, you need to come to Oklahoma and guide me on my quest for a spot-and-stock white tail buck!
We have a couple hills almost that big, I swear!
Everytime I ask hunters here for advice, the just glare down at me from their lofty tree stand perches, in their generational hand me down Carhartt insulated coveralls that have not been washed in decades, the same blaze orange vests they wore when kids, and their white Muck Boots (They are very traditional) I yell up to them extra loud, all they do is wave their arms in erratic fashion. I think they are all hard of hearing or the yellow jackets must be really bad at higher altitudes. 

[pianoman9701]

  That would be my pleasure.