I think Im done.

[lokidog]

Just another voice in support of you Smossy.   

[HntnFsh]

This sure seems to me like a cry for help. Wishing you the very best and hope you follow some of the advice you have been given!

[Rainier10]

Maybe a break is what you need.  Hopefully something else comes along that drives you.  Good luck.

[2MANY]

Depression.
Get help before you convince yourself you're right.

[Bofire]

I live near Yelm. I am going to your site and sending you a PM. I know nothing, have no answers, but I guess I am willing to listen but do not know what my response will be. trying to be honest.
Carl

[WapitiTalk1]

No you’re not, you’re just going through some rough terrain as we all do.  Ups, downs, it’s all part of it. An old grizzly, obnoxious, *censored* of a guy (years ago) told me it’s not how you deal with the good stuff in life that matters...but how you shake off the rough water crap.  I catch myself complaining about things sometimes until I see a veteran with missing limbs or somebody in very poor health.  Shake it off brother.. It’s time to plan next seasons hunting adventures while we’re able to do so. Wanna swing out and do some elk noise practice?
Oh, and bring your bow out. I didn’t hunt elk with a bow last year (gasp) but will in 19. I got a woodsy range where we can shoot out to 60.

[hunter399]

Being a person that's in the same boat with friends.
I hunt alone and like it that way,except when kids or wife are in tow.
Friends I do have are co-workers never talk to them outside of work.
I will tell ya friends are over rated most the time,hunting is better solo ,facebook is crap.
Over the years sometimes priority (work,stuff that got in the way of hunting)has gotten me tag soup.
But there is always next year just blow it off ,do what ya need to do.
Most importantly your wife is your best friend more than anybody.

[Taco280AI]

Tough love: you're having a pity party, table for one. Stop. If you want help stop the pity party and just ask for some help. Just be like hey guys, having a hard time and could use an open ear. There's people here for that. Reach out to them, they'll respond. We all have hard times now and then, sometimes really hard times. We all go through tough life lessons. Ask for help, an open ear, someone to talk to, hang out with, anything... and you'll have it. Hope you find something.

[Cylvertip]

Being a person that's in the same boat with friends.
I hunt alone and like it that way,except when kids or wife are in tow.
Friends I do have are co-workers never talk to them outside of work.
I will tell ya friends are over rated most the time,hunting is better solo ,facebook is crap.
Over the years sometimes priority (work,stuff that got in the way of hunting)has gotten me tag soup.
But there is always next year just blow it off ,do what ya need to do.
Most importantly your wife is your best friend more than anybody.

  

[Sliverslinger]

Tough love: you're having a pity party, table for one. Stop. If you want help stop the pity party and just ask for some help. Just be like hey guys, having a hard time and could use an open ear. There's people here for that. Reach out to them, they'll respond. We all have hard times now and then, sometimes really hard times. We all go through tough life lessons. Ask for help, an open ear, someone to talk to, hang out with, anything... and you'll have it. Hope you find something.

This

[Encore 280]

I remember when Smossy came on here a couple years ago and introduced himself. He had everyone's attention for days! I couldn't tell you how long the thread was but it was long. He had everyone's attention for quite a few days and he would be on the site for hours on end. Even told us how he came up with his username. Won't go into detail but he was looking for work and people on here helped him out and he got a job and worked his tail off putting in long hours at work. He'd come on and tell us about his shift at work and so on. He got into bow hunting and I think he was bummed for awhile until he finally killed a deer, oh happy day!! Fast forward, then the love of his life Becky joins the site and here we go with another long thread and everyone is having a hayday! Turns out Becky made decals or something like that and guys were having her make decals for them and the site. After awhile she lost a co-worker and was super depressed and came on the site and the out pouring of help from friends on the site was crazy. I'm sure she's there for Smossy now. I believe just what I've seem from their posts on the site in the past that they are supporting pillars for each other. The HuntWa family is great supporting pillar also, there isn't a finer bunch of people. Smossy, go outside in the pouring down rain and stick your face into it and just stand there and take it in Bud! Take care Smossy.

[Smossy]

I remember when Smossy came on here a couple years ago and introduced himself. He had everyone's attention for days! I couldn't tell you how long the thread was but it was long. He had everyone's attention for quite a few days and he would be on the site for hours on end. Even told us how he came up with his username. Won't go into detail but he was looking for work and people on here helped him out and he got a job and worked his tail off putting in long hours at work. He'd come on and tell us about his shift at work and so on. He got into bow hunting and I think he was bummed for awhile until he finally killed a deer, oh happy day!! Fast forward, then the love of his life Becky joins the site and here we go with another long thread and everyone is having a hayday! Turns out Becky made decals or something like that and guys were having her make decals for them and the site. After awhile she lost a co-worker and was super depressed and came on the site and the out pouring of help from friends on the site was crazy. I'm sure she's there for Smossy now. I believe just what I've seem from their posts on the site in the past that they are supporting pillars for each other. The HuntWa family is great supporting pillar also, there isn't a finer bunch of people. Smossy, go outside in the pouring down rain and stick your face into it and just stand there and take it in Bud! Take care Smossy.

I was determined to not reply to anything In this thread, But thank you for having the humanity to actually follow and remember this stuff. Kind of caught me off guard that anyone could quickly throw that much history at me.
Yes becky lost someone close, and she still is not the same, to top it.. My best friend took his own life just a month later. Ive never experienced pain like that. Its now just over 2 years since I lost him. New years eve I spent about 15 minutes in his room alone, Its been untouched. I kinds just sat there, blood stains still everywhere.. Still a hole in the wall where the bullet exited. Its still try to rationalize it all.
Everything in his room me and another friend helped move in....Then Bankruptcy, Then I lost my job, Then struggled with bad substance abuse. Oxys. They infact dropped me dead on May 2nd. I barely survived. Doctor said my brain went without oxygen for 6 minutes and not to be surprised if I have some type of side effects later in life. I overdosed on an extremely lethal dose of fentynal. Luckily my wife managed to run a few people off the road and got me somewhere fast. CPR and Narcan saved my life, cause I was gone.
Literally the most peaceful feeling Ive ever felt. The problem is that almost makes it desirable. Dunno, Im just speaking my mind. It goes in circles. Its like that movie "get out" Im aware of whats going on but its like Im stuck locked to a chair riding passenger.

[LongBomb]

Bud..im hearing you even though i haven't experienced what you are. My recommendation is go see your doctor. I know some ppl that have struggled and its a long process but without help from someone else they pry couldnt of made it. I believe its more common than some of us would like to think. Hang in there!

[Encore 280]

Smossy the fact that you replied is a good sign  and hopefully you're picking up some helpful information from everyone that cares about you and yours. I'm sure your best friend would want you to get your chit together and like you have below your avatar; "Slow down and enjoy the moment." I'm sure you've looked but there's jobs out there for you. You have a talent and someone out there needs it, go find them and share it. I believe Becky is your rock and you are her rock, keep it that way. There's chuck holes in life's road and we've all hit them but it gets better. Chin up Bud, hold your head high and be proud of what you have accomplished. Don't think about the bad stuff, it's poison. I'm sure I speak for a lot of the people on here but we all miss yours and Becky's posts.The best to you.

[Smossy]

Bud..im hearing you even though i haven't experienced what you are. My recommendation is go see your doctor. I know some ppl that have struggled and its a long process but without help from someone else they pry couldnt of made it. I believe its more common than some of us would like to think. Hang in there!

Sometimes these people are all I need, If ive learned anything over the years is that the people here arent just random people who sign up, were family. As much as I want to hate everyone, I need to hear all angles. If someone tells im being crybaby little.... female dog... I need to hear it, If someone says its more common and Im not the only one, I need to hear it, etc, so forthorth. Ive been away for so long I see lots of real active "new" guys to me. Just know this stupid petty little crap of a website (dont take offense dale) has probably saved my life, maybe a few others and dont be afraidnto meet them. Most of them are solid guys, Drock will surprise you with his shortness and h2o may just grab your butt upon first meeting you. Be prepared....
Or you can spend hunt wa BBQs taking horse shoes to the shins and then being the last two people, me and Joel, determined to drink every single beer brought to the bbq that was left that night, Tell you what, we were beat by 1 beer. 
Good times.
Some people dont really realise how something so simple as just saying "I care you *censored*" even If you didnt really know someone, or hell even saying hello, could be a determining factor in a life. I have a story I cant share here about approx 3 weeks ago. Not gonna talk about it any further but if someone really wants to take Interest Ill share. See I dont need therapy, you know why, because no shrink will be able to relate to me, know the unbias struggles of trying to survive. Why do I know this? Because my shrink makes $500 for my one hour session. The man is smart. But hes not you guys, When people say seek help, thats what Im doing. I need to hear war stories, I need to see people feel destroyed then come back,  My mentality makes me absolutely thrive on things, I THRIVE on positivity and god it feels so good, but I theive on negativity and it gets dangerous.